Snapshot at 4.5 years and 8 months

Reed had his six month well child visit on Tuesday, about two months late (short story: scheduling difficulties at the pediatrician). He continues to grow and develop on his own, slightly above-average trajectory. He's 20 pounds (60th%) and 28 inches (65th%) with a head circumference of 18 inches (77th%). In comparison, at 7 months Theo was 16 pounds and 25 inches and Beck was 18 pounds and 26 inches. Just as the boys have stayed in about their same proportional percentiles for everything (30-50th% for Beck, 10-20% for Theo), it's looking like Reed is maybe leveling out in his, somewhere between the 50th-70th%. 

Developmental: Reed is doing lots of cool stuff, which is entertaining for him and for the rest of us. He sits up well on his own, rolls over from front to back and back to front pretty easily, and often gets on his belly with all four limbs up in the air in the style of pilates or AKA a child very very eager to crawl. He's drooling a ton, likely because of a large front tooth that just broke through in time for the new year this morning. He still loves the jumper, hanging in the kitchen so he can keep an eye on all the activity of his brothers running around and his parents cooking and puttering in the kitchen. He also still loves the ergo and being carried close to mama or daddy but has much more interest in the world around him these days. He yearns for his brothers' attention and just melts into huge grins when they pay attention to him, especially when they sing to him and make silly faces. He also seems to be very attentive to music, such that whenever he hears music, he almost immediately starts to move in time with the rhythm and grin.

Reed's great at putting himself to sleep and I'm very proud that most days for both naps I'm putting him down in his crib awake, pulling the blanket over him, and leaving the room. Sometimes he starts to cry or isn't settling, so I give him a pacifier, and many days just because he naps right after I take the boys to school or pick them up from school he has had the benefit of being carried in the front pack for 20 minutes before going to sleep, so he's calm and soothed and somewhat sleepy already. It is so much easier to roll with the small variations and growth spurts and sleep needs of ONE baby instead of two. It was next to impossible to time Theo and Beckett needing to go to sleep at the same time, so they were almost always rocked to sleep (in a vibrating bouncer seat or swing or by an adult, or by nursing) for much longer than I would have liked, and there was also a fair bit of crying at nap and bed time because I felt I had to keep to a schedule of sleeping if there was any chance of their coordinating their schedules. Having one baby means most days naps are around 9am and 2pm but if Reed sleeps in a little bit or there is excitement around the house in the morning, it might get pushed to 10 or even 11, and afternoon naps come whenever the house is quiet, the baby has time to get sleepy, and we're not all so busy playing with the big boys and getting stuff done around the house to notice and put him down. But it really is amazing (to me) that if I do really pay attention, Reed will show me that he is ready to be put down. He yawns, pulls his ears, and rubs his eyes in pretty quick succession. And if I get him upstairs to his bed within a few minutes, when I lay him down he rolls over (to his right side), loops his fingers in his blanket, pulls it over his face, and closes his eyes. The big boys never had the luxury of having their individual sleep signals recognized and respected! Luckily they are good sleepers now but that first year was tough, on them as much as for us, I'm sure.

Reed is eating everything we give him. I remember the boys had some preferences and at some meals ate practically nothing. Reed isn't getting the kind of options his brothers got (I made several varieties of homemade baby food for them) but he does get plain, whole milk yogurt; rice, oatmeal, and quinoa baby cereal; pureed roasted squash; applesauce; mashed bananas; rice and oat puffs of various sorts; and table food occasionally, including bread, green beans, apple quarters, cake, and just tonight, beef chili. He has yet to refuse a food offered to him, even though sometimes he makes funny faces at the first taste of something. We've also settled into the eat, play, sleep schedule that I've heard recommended many times, which I had a hard time with for the big boys. So when he wakes up he nurses, then plays for a while, then has solids, then plays for a shorter time, and then goes to sleep.

Reed's nighttime sleep is pretty reliably good, from about 7pm to somewhere between 4-6am, when he wakes briefly to nurse and then go back to sleep. He then sleeps til somewhere between 6:30 and 8am. It's just the best thing to go in in the morning and watch his face break into a huge grin and his arms and legs wiggle all over when he sees us. Jeff says it's tough when we do go in in the middle of the night to encourage him to get back to sleep, and Reed sees Jeff and gets all excited just to have Jeff pop the pacifier back in his mouth and leave. For a short while I was trying to get Reed to sleep straight from 7pm-7am with no wakeups so we were getting up sometimes many times between 4am and whenever I gave up for the morning to try to convince him to go back to sleep without nursing, with the goal of making him put himself back to sleep. Then I just decided we'd all get more sleep if I got up once to feed him, and since that seemed to solve the problem (it's not like he's waking up all hours of the night now) that's what we're sticking with. For so many reasons every decision with Reed seems so much less stressful and fraught than it did with the big boys. So this is what I'm going with for now, and I might change it up again at some point.

The big boys are now happy to tell anyone who asks that they are FOUR and a HALF. Beckett is still very much in his Superman phase, so he wears his Superman shirt with cape every day he does not go to school, as well as about half of the school days. I think it's probably developmentally appropriate for him be interested in superheros and to want to feel powerful, etc., plus he got into Superman right after Reed was born when I think he wanted to feel special and strong, and then he broke his leg in August and he feels he “survived” because his body was strong and then his leg healed and he got his cast off which showed how powerful and strong his body is. So the phase continues and he has some new Superman figures and underwear for Christmas that he's been enjoying. The shirt is also in heavy, heavy rotation. Luckily we have three and Jeff was good enough to iron on two identical Captain America patches, one on each of the two preferred ones. I've also decided to sew on some velcro to at least one other shirt so that he can attach the red Superman cape to other shirts. Besides the Superman thing, Beck is also competitive, and does not like losing games of chance or races or anything else. He's an eerily good listener, often recalling small details of conversations or events weeks or months after they have happened (which does not mean I do not have to call him multiple times to come to dinner, of course). He loves words and stories and is putting together a lot of what he is learning at school and at home. Beckett is the pickiest eater of the bunch and would eat bagel, yogurt and vegan chicken patty every lunch and dinner if he could. He also eats 5-8 bowls of a variety of cereals every morning. He's a pleaser so he will almost always try something if I ask him to but doesn't seem to relish much outside of his usual meals. Beck continues to need more physical connection and affection than Theo, and he still struggles to ask for what he needs so sometimes this means he annoys the heck out of Theo until Theo lashes out and beats on him or chases him, which is almost as good to Beckett as mutually consensual physical contact. Beck also requires one-on-one mama time almost every day, and can break down if he does not have it. He could still SO use a nap most days but almost never gets one, and by the end of the day he is sometimes so tired he just can't deal with even the smallest disappointment or frustration. We can usually recenter if I can have 10 minutes alone with him to hold him, squeeze him, speak softly to him, and just love on him, but sometimes that's difficult when I'm by myself with all three or if for some other reason we can't find our own private space for that time. It is amazing to watch his transformation when he's had the connection that he needs, and he goes from flopping around naked on the floor, crying uncontrollably and not making any sense, to helping me set the table for dinner and thanking me for making him food.

Theo is our artistic and musical guy. He is often singing or humming to himself, and sometimes sings whatever he wants to say to us. He's also sometimes in his own world, and looks kind of dreamy or zoned out. He often tells me that he had a “dream”, which I think means a daydream, about what he imagines doing or being. Theo is also incredibly talented at drawing. He is now the artistic equal of both Jeff and I, able to draw people and many animals with enough detail and precision that anyone can tell what they are. He has very specific ideas about how his drawings should be, including what shade of colors should be used and where they should be spaced on the page. He still occasionally asks adults to draw an outline of something for him, usually when he hasn't drawn it before and wants a guide, but most things he draws on his own. He often asks us to help him color something in if he doesn't think his own abilities match his perfectionist preferences, and then dictates exactly how he wants us to color it in. I have almost given up on “helping” him in any way artistically, both because I want him to gain the confidence to try, even if he fails, and because I never live up to his expectations and his disappointment with me and my abilities is so palpable. Theo likes more foods than Beckett but still complains often that we don't have things at dinner that he likes (bagel and yogurt, primarily). But then sometimes he is excited to try new things. I don't know where it came from but he likes ketchup and suggests eating it with pretty much every meat we eat, from panko-fried chicken to tilapia. Theo has developed an interest in writing thank you letters, possibly from a book we recently got about writing thank you letters, and so he's been asking if he can write a thank you letter to so-and-so, or draw a picture for one of his friends, or for Beckett. He also has been decorating Reed's room with his art, so Reed's crib has about five drawings above it. Theo is more easily frightened, or at least expresses that more easily, than Beckett, so we really haven't watched most mainstream “kid” movies because so many things seem too scary for him. But that means that he is also acutely aware of things that might scare Baby Reed, and so some of his drawings are to keep Reed safe and to comfort him if he is afraid in his crib. Theo is concerned that Reed has to sleep by himself in his own room, the thought of which terrifies Theo, and I think he pities Reed that he has to sleep by himself.

Theo with two of his buddies at school, Deari and Serenity.