Welcome to the world, Reed Warren Genovese! Born Sunday, May 3, 2015 at 12:54pm at Crouse Hospital.
I woke up Sunday morning at 3:30 to our newest cat throwing up in the hallway. I couldn't go back to sleep so I stayed in bed deciding how I would spend my day. We had planned separate alone time for the boys with each of their grandparents (Theo with Grandma Joanie and Grandpa Stu, and Beckett with Grandma Kathy and Grandpa Greg) so I had big plans for getting mulch at lowes, pull-ups at target, and doing a grand grocery run so that we would have lots of good food in the house over the coming days.
I started having contractions around 4am, some painless and some more uncomfortable. By 5am they were every 10 minutes and I decided to get in the shower in case this was labor. (One thing I learned from my three hospitalizations when I was pregnant with the boys is that it's always better to shower and wash your hair before you go to the hospital!) At 6am the contractions were every 7-9 minutes and I decided to wake Jeff up. Jeff was exasperated that I had waited that long to wake him up, and to call our doula, Angela, and to call my doctor. I just wasn't sure that I was really in labor and wanted to see if the contractions got more regular and stronger. He called Angela, who said she'd be over in an hour or so, and I talked to my favorite midwife, Janet, who said to stay at home and call when the contractions got 5 minutes apart and painful. She also said she was on call all day and that maybe I'd be coming in tonight to have a baby with her. I was thrilled she was on call, and also hopeful that my favorite doctor, Dr Berry, would be on call backing Janet up as I understood she usually did. I was also reassured that this was progressing slowly and normally and that it would be tonight that the baby would be born.
Angela arrived at about 7am as I was cooking myself a giant breakfast of waffles and bacon. I had several contractions during breakfast and started trying out different positions, and Jeff and Angela tried different counter-pressures to see what felt good. Jeff's parents arrived to pick up Beckett, and did some grocery shopping for us before they went back to Johnstown.
By 9:30 Jeff was getting pretty anxious that we should be heading to the hospital, since my contractions were getting fairly close together (3-6 minutes apart) and becoming painful. I honestly still wasn't sure that I was in labor, which in retrospect seems crazy, but one more way Angela was helpful was telling Jeff that I was okay to continue laboring at home, and to continue to help me through each one and keep track of timing since Jeff was running all around the house in a frenzy. At ten Angela finally agreed with Jeff that it was time to get moving to the hospital, which was made more difficult by a huge road race through most of the city (the Mountain Goat) that had traffic blocked off on many main streets especially in our neighborhood. Before we left, I remember saying to Angela and Jeff, "you think I'm really in labor?" To which Angela said, "Yes, I am 100% sure you are in labor." We called Janet on the way to let her know I was coming.
A couple of rough car contractions on the way and then we arrived at the valet at the hospital.
I had a contraction in the vestibule of the entrance, which entitled me to skip the line and get a security escort up to the labor and delivery floor. Then on the L&D floor, I was supposed to sit in a chair before being checked into triage. Upon sitting down I almost immediately had another contraction that required me to stand up and lean against a wall in the hallway, which entitled me to skip check-in and triage and get right into a room. Pretty soon, probably around 10:45, Janet came in to check me and announced me 4cm dilated and 100% effaced, and had me admitted.
I had been nervous about the continuous fetal monitoring required by the hospital because of my planned VBAC and getting the hep-lock (IV port) and getting blood drawn, since my veins tend to hide in stressful situations, but besides the delay caused by the first nurse blowing my vein and then two people coming in to finally get it, I remember thinking that I would rather have people run their fingers over my veins and poke me with needles all over than continue to feel the contractions that were getting more and more intense. Which, if you know me and how I feel about people feeling my veins and drawing blood and starting an IV, says quite a lot.
Up until this point Angela and Jeff had been able to relieve a lot of the pressure of the contractions by rubbing my back and by squeezing my hips, but around this time what they were doing stopped helping, which made me start to panic. I had come to rely on their maneuvers to give me some relief, and when what they were doing stopped making a difference with the pain, I became somewhat crazed. This was probably around 11:30. But Angela was still helping me through each contraction, stroking my jaw and rubbing my forehead to remind me to relax and let the contractions work to bring my baby down. I can see how easy it is to tense up during contractions, which would have the effect of preventing the body from doing the work to move the baby down, because it is so uncomfortable and painful that you want to do everything you can do STOP IT NOW. At this point I was pretty out of it and had my eyes closed until almost the moment when Reed was born. Janet measured me again and announced me 8cm dilated. From that point, she stayed in the room and just observed me. I opened my eyes once and saw her sitting in an easy chair in the corner, legs crossed and arms resting calmly, smiling peacefully. At another time I can imagine myself becoming irate at her calm and serenity in the face of my pain but at that moment I felt reassured by her calm presence and the feeling that everything was going perfectly normally.
Soon I began to feel the urge to push, but had in my mind that someone would have to give me permission to push, which had not yet been granted. So I started slowly pushing with each contraction, trying hard to do so in a way that would not attract attention. Angela has since told me that she could tell exactly what I was doing, and knew that Janet knew exactly what to I was doing, and that in fact there was some conversation (very quietly, so I was unaware) between Janet and the nurse, Megan, about whether I should be told not to push. Megan was concerned that I was not fully dilated and could do more harm than good. Angela reports that Janet told Megan that I could do what I wanted and to let me be.
I finally said that I needed to push, wanting to hear whether I could indeed start fully pushing. Jeff went out to the nurses' station to tell them, and people and things began to get in place. Jeff narrated some of what was going on in the room, talking about the equipment coming in and everybody getting ready for my baby to be born, which was very reassuring. And yet at the same time, despite the intense pain I was in, I couldn't believe it was almost over, and I wanted somehow to remember that moment before everything changed.
And then Janet said, "Bryn, you have been listening to your body this whole time, and doing what it is telling you to do. If you feel like pushing, push. Let's meet that baby of yours."
So Janet and Dr Berry (my favorite doctor, who did my boys' c-section four years ago) gave me instructions here and there to guide my pushing. My water hadn't broken, so at some point Janet asked if she could break my water. She said something to the effect of, if I don't break it, the baby might come flying right out, and there is no downside to breaking it at this point, so she broke my water at 12:44pm. I never saw any of this, since my eyes were still closed, but I heard Dr Berry and felt calmed by her presence. I just focused on their directions (had it been up to me at that point, I would have tried to lay back and fall asleep, I was so tired), and Angela kept me cool with ice water washcloths on my face and neck and encouraging me to sip water in between contractions and pushes. What seemed like pretty quickly Jeff said that he could see his head, which was incredibly encouraging. Then he said that the baby's head was out, and then that his shoulder was out. Ten minutes after she broke my water, Janet said, "Bryn, reach down and pull out your baby!" I pulled him out and on to my chest, and that's how we stayed for just about an hour. It was magical and miraculous and absolutely unbelieveable. It was also pretty much the least medicalized birth I can imagine at a hospital, with absolutely no interventions or drugs or even much medical advice, until I got synthetic oxytocin at the end to help contract my uterus to prevent hemorrhage. It was exactly what I had envisioned for Reed's birth, plus every decision I hadn't anticipated was carried out exactly how I would have wanted had I envisioned it. Janet later told me that his birth was exactly as she had pictured and hoped for me. I feel incredibly lucky to have had such a wonderful experience and to have started Reed's life with such tenderness, wonder and beauty.
