Though the other half of Team Lovebo thinks I have been 29 weeks pregnant for days or weeks now, because he uses all kinds of creative counting methods, today I am 29 weeks by the date of my last period (which is, for the record, the counting method EVERYONE ELSE uses). Which is awesome! Jeff counts from, alternately, what his "Pregnant Dad" app says, or backward from the projected due dates given at any random sonogram based on the sizes of the babies, or some other random method that makes him feel more reassured in case the babies are born early. Which is fine, but it doesn't change how far along I ACTUALLY am by any kind of standard that matters. We keep hearing (from pediatricians, OB-GYNs, friends whose babies were born tiny) that we are in the clear now, that if the babies were born today they would in all likelihood be healthy (though they would spend weeks or months in the NICU). Which is a huge relief. Not that we're pushing them out now! I'm happy to stay pregnant for at least another month, maybe two.
The amazing and kind of frightening thing I have learned through this process, both from St. Luke's in NYC and from my doctor and the staff at Crouse hospital here (and from my friend Claire, the ob-gyn), is that the medical establishment does not know anything about suspected pre-term labor--how to stop it, what it is, what causes it, what makes it worse or lead to labor, etc. I already knew that they didn't know anything about birth (why some perfectly healthy fetuses die during labor, why some women die during labor, why labors that appear to be progressing normally then take a bad turn) but I have learned it is the same with pre-term labor. Since those are two kind of major issues in ob-gyn practice, I find it stunning that they don't really know anything about it. On the other hand, they can't exactly do randomized double blind trials where they provide treatment to some women and not to others, or whatever, because obviously we're talking about babies and mothers dying (damn human subjects ethical review boards) but wow. It is pretty obvious that they know nothing about it because different doctors or nurses have told me diametrically opposite things within the span of 5 minutes. One doctor even completely reversed herself within 30 minutes. I just wish medical personnel would say "I DON'T KNOW" instead of saying things that may be completely untrue. I say it all the time as a practicing attorney! There's no way I could ever know everything about every legal issue my clients could have, and I think it's dangerous to make things up just to give an answer and not look like an idiot. I'm not an idiot because I don't know the ins and outs of personal injury law, or contract law, or criminal law--I just don't know it! I will never understand why the toughest thing for a doctor to say is "I don't know."
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Video of twin baby boys having conversation
I have heard that twins speak in their own language long before they are able to converse in English. Thanks to Keli for sending this link along. Wow, this is awesome.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
28 weeks, 3 days
We reached a major milestone this week, 28 weeks. The babies' lungs are now capable of breathing, their brains can regulate their own temperatures and they are getting fatter.
The bad news is, my uterus is getting very angry at their size and I had another two days in the hospital to get the contractions under control and make sure that I had not begun preterm labor. It was very stressful and overwhelming but we had a great experience with Crouse hospital and with all the nurses who took care of me. The difference between Crouse and St. Luke's in NYC could not be more stark, and I am so grateful that the babies will be born here and any future stays will be here rather than there. I completely trust and adore my doctor and her staff, who oversaw my care at the hospital, and they discharged me Thursday night with instructions to continue to be vigilant about watching for any unusual signs: contractions more frequent, of a different quality, of longer duration, and of a higher intensity. It's going to be normal for me to have contractions from here on out, even some every 5 or 6 minutes at times, but what we have learned from being in the hospital is that even those contractions do not lead to labor for me. So I can contract away if it's all part of my norm. I feel more confident in my ability to tell when things are normal and when they are not, a big part of which is knowing that I was in the hospital for two days, contracting away, and labor did not begin or even threaten to begin.
We also got some great new information about the babies at the hospital, which is that they are growing very well! They are 2 pounds, 12 ounces (Baby A) and a whole 3 pounds, 2 ounces (Baby B). Which is the 56th and 86th percentiles, respectively, for SINGLETON babies at this time. I know those sonogram-determined weights are not necessarily that accurate but we are very relieved that they continue to grow well and even ahead of schedule. Especially because they may be born early, it is really important that they are physically maturing at a good pace. They also have the advantage that I was treated with betamethasone in NYC, which helps their lungs to develop surfectant, which makes it easier for them to breathe if they are born early.
We're taking every day as it comes now. Our goal now is to make it to April 1. When we get to April 1, our new goal might be 32 weeks, which is another major milestone for the babies' development. If they were born at 32 weeks they would still spend some time in the NICU but their chances of developing normally would be very high. But we will see, and we are not getting ahead of ourselves. Every day is different and all we can do is get through each day as it comes. This is not the pregnancy experience I had hoped for and the babies' birth and first few weeks will likely not be the experience we had hoped for, but we are really excited to meet them and are very optimistic at this point that all will be well.
The best news of the week is that the working half of Team Lovebo got a new job. He will be working at the Center for Community Alternatives, working on projects related to the reform of the Rockefeller-era drug laws, including training other lawyers (both defense attorneys and prosecutors) on the new laws. I'm not sure which of us is more thrilled but no matter how bad things got this week I was hugely grateful throughout that he will be leaving a job which has been frustrating and unfulfilling in a number of ways, and starting a job working with people who are passionate about what they do. He will undoubtedly learn a lot, and it will be difficult to acclimate to so different a position, but we are excited about opening a new chapter in Jeff's career. We can also never sufficiently thank our good friend John for tuning Jeff into the position and for putting in a good word to get the process started.
There might not be any pictures for a while, as it is now going to be a rare day that I actually shower and get dressed. Trust that my belly is ginormous, that there are very few times during the day when I am comfortable, and that the babies sometimes seem to be in training for the Olympics the way my belly moves around. If you need a visual, imagine normal Bryn with half of a flesh-colored watermelon attached to my torso. That's what I look like.
The bad news is, my uterus is getting very angry at their size and I had another two days in the hospital to get the contractions under control and make sure that I had not begun preterm labor. It was very stressful and overwhelming but we had a great experience with Crouse hospital and with all the nurses who took care of me. The difference between Crouse and St. Luke's in NYC could not be more stark, and I am so grateful that the babies will be born here and any future stays will be here rather than there. I completely trust and adore my doctor and her staff, who oversaw my care at the hospital, and they discharged me Thursday night with instructions to continue to be vigilant about watching for any unusual signs: contractions more frequent, of a different quality, of longer duration, and of a higher intensity. It's going to be normal for me to have contractions from here on out, even some every 5 or 6 minutes at times, but what we have learned from being in the hospital is that even those contractions do not lead to labor for me. So I can contract away if it's all part of my norm. I feel more confident in my ability to tell when things are normal and when they are not, a big part of which is knowing that I was in the hospital for two days, contracting away, and labor did not begin or even threaten to begin.
We also got some great new information about the babies at the hospital, which is that they are growing very well! They are 2 pounds, 12 ounces (Baby A) and a whole 3 pounds, 2 ounces (Baby B). Which is the 56th and 86th percentiles, respectively, for SINGLETON babies at this time. I know those sonogram-determined weights are not necessarily that accurate but we are very relieved that they continue to grow well and even ahead of schedule. Especially because they may be born early, it is really important that they are physically maturing at a good pace. They also have the advantage that I was treated with betamethasone in NYC, which helps their lungs to develop surfectant, which makes it easier for them to breathe if they are born early.
We're taking every day as it comes now. Our goal now is to make it to April 1. When we get to April 1, our new goal might be 32 weeks, which is another major milestone for the babies' development. If they were born at 32 weeks they would still spend some time in the NICU but their chances of developing normally would be very high. But we will see, and we are not getting ahead of ourselves. Every day is different and all we can do is get through each day as it comes. This is not the pregnancy experience I had hoped for and the babies' birth and first few weeks will likely not be the experience we had hoped for, but we are really excited to meet them and are very optimistic at this point that all will be well.
The best news of the week is that the working half of Team Lovebo got a new job. He will be working at the Center for Community Alternatives, working on projects related to the reform of the Rockefeller-era drug laws, including training other lawyers (both defense attorneys and prosecutors) on the new laws. I'm not sure which of us is more thrilled but no matter how bad things got this week I was hugely grateful throughout that he will be leaving a job which has been frustrating and unfulfilling in a number of ways, and starting a job working with people who are passionate about what they do. He will undoubtedly learn a lot, and it will be difficult to acclimate to so different a position, but we are excited about opening a new chapter in Jeff's career. We can also never sufficiently thank our good friend John for tuning Jeff into the position and for putting in a good word to get the process started.
There might not be any pictures for a while, as it is now going to be a rare day that I actually shower and get dressed. Trust that my belly is ginormous, that there are very few times during the day when I am comfortable, and that the babies sometimes seem to be in training for the Olympics the way my belly moves around. If you need a visual, imagine normal Bryn with half of a flesh-colored watermelon attached to my torso. That's what I look like.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
27 weeks, 3 days
Special shout out to my dear cousin (once removed, but no less special) Kelly, who was born at 27 weeks gestation and is now a healthy, strong, smart science fair winner and completely level-headed teenager.
This week I was blessed with visits from wonderful friends, Jess and her fabulously funny daughter Sophie on Thursday, and my former swim coach Karen on Friday. And both brought delicious food--wings of life salad from Wegmans and cut up fruit and soup and lasagna and sweets (for Jeff). Sophie also says that I am going to need to get a bigger belly so the babies aren't so squished. You are right, Sophie! Where do I get a replacement? Thank you so so much, for the food and the company!
Today Jeff and I had a very productive excursion to the Multiple Moms Mingle sale at the NYS Fairgrounds. In addition to the fun of driving around the fairgrounds, a unique experience, we scored some fantastic deals on baby stuff. We got a double stroller that fits infant carseats, two highchairs, a twin nursing pillow, a pack and play, and TONS of clothes and receiving blankets and hats and sleepsacks and swaddlers. Everything was super cheap and I got the feeling that the sellers just couldn't wait to get this stuff out of their houses. Which I can understand, because there sure are a lot of baby supplies that appear to be necessary or at least highly desirable and which take up a lot of room. Along with the carload of stuff we have borrowed from dear friends and experienced parents Kate and Aaron (a baby bjorn, deluxe breast pump,bath seat, a baby Vegas (baby activity center), play mat with mobile, diaper bag, LOTS of clothes, diaper pail and wet bags, and other stuff), our basement is about 1/3 full of baby stuff. It's not ideal that we're moving next month and everything will have to be transferred to the new house then, but so far we have spent about $200 on baby gear and have a pretty good stock already!
The other half of Team Lovebo is at Lowe's at the moment purchasing a washer and dryer for the new house. It's exciting and overwhelming to pick that kind of big appliance, and it's hard to know what to buy. I'm sure he will be wowed by all the fancy features (digital display! steam dryer setting!) and then neither of us will be able to operate the machines when we get them home.
In fetus news, the babies apparently like to stack or snuggle primarily on the right side of my body. Yesterday my right side was super hard for most of the evening, with top and left side totally soft, as they cuddled together way over on my right side. Because I was so uncomfortable, Jeff finally suggested seeing if I could move them, which hadn't occurred to me. I gently (well, not so gently at first) massaged my belly from right to left, talking to them the whole time, and after a few seconds A moved back over to his side. He moved back over to B a few minutes later, but I was able to coax him back to his side again. Amazing!
This week I was blessed with visits from wonderful friends, Jess and her fabulously funny daughter Sophie on Thursday, and my former swim coach Karen on Friday. And both brought delicious food--wings of life salad from Wegmans and cut up fruit and soup and lasagna and sweets (for Jeff). Sophie also says that I am going to need to get a bigger belly so the babies aren't so squished. You are right, Sophie! Where do I get a replacement? Thank you so so much, for the food and the company!
Today Jeff and I had a very productive excursion to the Multiple Moms Mingle sale at the NYS Fairgrounds. In addition to the fun of driving around the fairgrounds, a unique experience, we scored some fantastic deals on baby stuff. We got a double stroller that fits infant carseats, two highchairs, a twin nursing pillow, a pack and play, and TONS of clothes and receiving blankets and hats and sleepsacks and swaddlers. Everything was super cheap and I got the feeling that the sellers just couldn't wait to get this stuff out of their houses. Which I can understand, because there sure are a lot of baby supplies that appear to be necessary or at least highly desirable and which take up a lot of room. Along with the carload of stuff we have borrowed from dear friends and experienced parents Kate and Aaron (a baby bjorn, deluxe breast pump,bath seat, a baby Vegas (baby activity center), play mat with mobile, diaper bag, LOTS of clothes, diaper pail and wet bags, and other stuff), our basement is about 1/3 full of baby stuff. It's not ideal that we're moving next month and everything will have to be transferred to the new house then, but so far we have spent about $200 on baby gear and have a pretty good stock already!
The other half of Team Lovebo is at Lowe's at the moment purchasing a washer and dryer for the new house. It's exciting and overwhelming to pick that kind of big appliance, and it's hard to know what to buy. I'm sure he will be wowed by all the fancy features (digital display! steam dryer setting!) and then neither of us will be able to operate the machines when we get them home.
In fetus news, the babies apparently like to stack or snuggle primarily on the right side of my body. Yesterday my right side was super hard for most of the evening, with top and left side totally soft, as they cuddled together way over on my right side. Because I was so uncomfortable, Jeff finally suggested seeing if I could move them, which hadn't occurred to me. I gently (well, not so gently at first) massaged my belly from right to left, talking to them the whole time, and after a few seconds A moved back over to his side. He moved back over to B a few minutes later, but I was able to coax him back to his side again. Amazing!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
More good news!
We were approved for our mortgage on the new house, and are moving forward to close April 15ish. Hooray!
Introducing Jeff, my amazing husband with secret skills
You all may remember my former spouse, Mr. Leibo, who feigned disinterest and inability in the kitchen and always managed to come back from Wegmans with strange items he bought in an attempt to follow the list. I have been reading twin books that say, again and again, twins don't happen to women with lame husbands--somehow they are only bestowed on women with fantastic husbands who cook, shop, and clean like fiends. As loving and funny and smart and nurturing as Jeff is, preparing nourishing food and grocery shopping has never been his forte. And so I will admit that I had been wondering why we had been blessed with a twin pregnancy.
Turns out all this nonsense about not being able to cook or grocery shop was just a feeble attempt to avoid housework, because Jeff has now proven that he is perfectly capable of making not only a meal, but a showpiece meal:
Saturday night Jeff made this: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/giada-de-laurentiis/short-ribs-with-tagliatelle-recipe/index.html
Sunday Jeff cleaned the house, went grocery shopping, and stocked the mini-fridge in our bedroom (for my mornings in bed).
Sunday night Jeff made a quiche with ham, spinach, feta, and gruyere, which I have been eating this week for lunch.
And now, the jig is up! Hooray!
Turns out all this nonsense about not being able to cook or grocery shop was just a feeble attempt to avoid housework, because Jeff has now proven that he is perfectly capable of making not only a meal, but a showpiece meal:
Saturday night Jeff made this: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/giada-de-laurentiis/short-ribs-with-tagliatelle-recipe/index.html
Sunday Jeff cleaned the house, went grocery shopping, and stocked the mini-fridge in our bedroom (for my mornings in bed).
Sunday night Jeff made a quiche with ham, spinach, feta, and gruyere, which I have been eating this week for lunch.
And now, the jig is up! Hooray!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Shout out to the kitties
I just want to say, though their internet privileges have been suspended and they will not be able to read this themselves, that the kitties have been doing an excellent job commiserating with me. They have been doing bedrest right along with me like champs. I'm amazed at how well they have adapted to it--they get up and eat breakfast with Jeff before I wake up, then come right back upstairs and snuggle in to bed with me while I read or watch a movie or email. They stay in bed until I get up and shower and go downstairs to eat lunch, when they again snuggle in with me on the couch until Jeff gets home and they bother him to feed them. I know normally cats are so energetic and playful, so I really appreciate their adapting their natural state of being to accommodate me.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Radon and home inspection update
The new house has a radon reading of 3.7 pc/L. So not above the EPA level but probably above our comfort level. Therefore the sale will continue and we will probably install our own mitigation system to bring it to 2.0 or below, hopefully before the babies are born. Or maybe install some long-term detectors to see whether the problems are real. And though there are small problems, the home inspection was generally positive and presents no imminent need for repairs. We have some ideas for immediate renovations but nothing major. So hooray! This house will not kill us, at least via radon.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
26 weeks, 1 day
Every day counts, and I have made it ten days since being admitted to the hospital in New York. The babies are now 2 pounds, 1 ounce (A) and 2 pounds, 4 ounces (B). I have learned quite a bit in these last two weeks about how to take care of these babies, including:
- They kick and move increasingly furiously when they are hungry. This was important to learn because their frenetic movement can cause contractions, which can lead to preterm labor, but if I can stop it by eating (a problem solved by eating? finally!), I can stop the contractions. I learned this from a very thoughtful, smart nurse with whom I spoke on Sunday night when I hadn't eaten in a long time and the babies were bending my belly like Beckham. She suggested I eat something because then the babies would likely go into food coma and settle down. Five minutes after eating, the contractions stopped and babies were quiet for hours. Who knew?
- The contractions are directly related to how much water I am consuming. My doctor has suggested I drink 3-4 liters of water a day. Yikes!
- Twin pregnancies are more likely to lead to gestational diabetes and preeclampsia than singleton pregnancies. Tuesday I failed my 1 hour glucose test and have the 3 hour test scheduled in a few weeks. In the meantime I am following a diabetic diet just in case--and because it's better for me anyway. Therefore: no white foods of any kind--pastas, flour, bread, etc.; more fruits and veggies; no soda (not that I have room in my bladder for soda on top of all the water anyway); no cookies, cakes, candies, etc.; and more protein and dairy. I have been trying to do better with the protein and dairy anyway, but hadn't been worrying about the white foods. Now I'm trying to eat every 3 hours or so throughout the day, eat a dairy snack like yogurt, warm milk, or ice cream before I go to bed, and eat protein and carbs with every meal or mini-meal.
It looks like everything is working out so far to move into our new house next month, which is a relief and a joy. Radon results should be back today or tomorrow.
Jeff installed Netflix on my computer so I can instantly watch many tv shows and movies. If you have any suggestions for somewhat older movies (not in the last 6 months), tv series', or documentaries, particularly on the lighter side, I would appreciate it! I watched Exit Through the Gift Shop yesterday, about street art (graffiti), and it was really fun.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Week 25
Well, I knew this day might come, but didn't realize it would come so soon. Sunday night I was in NYC with my friend Tara to attend a domestic violence conference at Fordham Law. I woke up at about 3:30 am not feeling right, and started counting my contractions. I have had contractions for the last two months, but I had 7 in an hour early Monday morning. When I called my doctor's emergency line, the nurse told me to go directly to the nearest ER. Luckily Tara was there to take me and St Luke's-Roosevelt Hospital was only two blocks away. Jeff arrived around 1pm via Delta. There was some worry Monday that I might deliver the babies that day, which was terrifying, but with the help of some medication, reassurance from my dear friend/OB-GYN Claire via text message, and my continued insistence that these babies would not be born in NYC, the contractions slowed from every 2 minutes to a couple an hour, my regular rate, by Tuesday morning. I learned a lot, about the importance of staying positive and not getting caught up in the panic of a hospital, as well as that the next time I have to go to the hospital and don't know when I might get back, I will take a shower first! My cousin Deb came in from NJ to visit on Tuesday, and Tara made sure everything was covered with work and the hotel and everything else. I was discharged Tuesday afternoon and Jeff shuttled us safely home, where I am now on bedrest, or at least homerest, for the duration. I can't believe how quickly everything has changed and I am trying my best to just embrace it, knowing that this is the best thing possible for the babies. Now Jeff is on duty for all household tasks, including those he usually lets me take care of, like grocery shopping and cooking. He can use all the help he can get!
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