Mom science

As a hippie-dippie but also non-stupid mom, I struggle with many of the baby-related choices I have to make on a daily basis. The most difficult choices, for me, are those related to vaccines and vitamins. Other choices I refused to spend time on are diapers (I was set on cloth, yes, but are PVCs in diaper covers bad? they sure make the diapers not leak--yay BumGenius! so screw it-I'll try to keep the babies from chewing on their diapers), food (I was resigned to use formula if I had to, but luckily the boys are good suckers and I make puh-lenty of milk), and circumcision (you want to do WHAT to my sons' penises? i don't think so).

Vaccines. I just received this book in the mail last week, and I have been hungrily reading it ever since. I feel instinctively suspicious of all the new vaccines we are encouraged (bullied) into giving our kids. In fact, the culture at the pediatrician's office is, "These are the vaccines we are giving your children this visit," rather than "These are the vaccines we have to offer, along with information about them, and a proposed schedule we have devised. Please consider it and let us know your decision." At the hospital the boys were given the first dose of Hepatitis B vaccine, which struck me as weird because Hep B is a sexually transmitted disease, and, um, they are newborns. Is this really the first vaccine they need to get? At their two-month visit they got their first shot of Pentacel, the vaccine for polio, tetanus, diptheria, pertussis, and HiB. That's a no-brainer, in my opinion. They were "supposed" to also get three more: the first Rotavirus, pneumococcal, and the next Hep B shot. I agreed to the Rotavirus because our ped really pushed it, and made an appointment for 4 weeks later to get the other two.

Now that I've read the book, I canceled the next appointment. I'm going to delay the Hep B series until they are older (probably at least 10), skip the pneumococcal (Prevnar) altogether and instead have them get the adult pneumococcal vaccine after they are 2, and skip the rest of the rotavirus series. The adult pneumococcal vaccine is protective against 23 strains, whereas Prevnar, the infant pneumococcal vaccine, is protective against only 13.The thing no one really talks about is how much less likely breastfed babies are to get both respiratory and digestive problems. Kelly, the woman I walk with regularly, put it this way: "I wish they'd push breastfeeding at the beginning like they push the vaccines later on!" True that. The thing with rotavirus is that all children are exposed to it by the time they are 5, and most cases result in diarrhea that lasts a few days. But the vaccine itself causes diarrhea in an alarmingly high number of cases, which is stupid. And as Kelly pointed out, breastfed babies are at less risk of the dehydration that often comes with diarrhea, because they will nurse for comfort even if they do not want to eat.

When I called the pediatrician's office to cancel our vaccination appointment, I spoke to a nurse who was disapproving but didn't know the answers to the questions I had--like whether there was any danger (besides being at risk for getting the diseases) in not continuing the vaccinations of which they had received one dose. I then got a call from our pediatrician herself, questioning why I had decided not to vaccinate, and what other vaccinations I was going to choose not to get. I still think I will catch some hell at our next visit, at 4 months in October, but for now I think I convinced her that I have done my homework and that I am aware of the risks and benefits of vaccinations. She suggested the websites for the Children's Hospital of Pennsylvania and the CDC to get more information. Before our next visit I'm going to need to find out what vaccinations are required for elementary school, because I know they are different depending on the district and I want to devise a schedule that accommodates whatever vaccines are required.

Vitamins. At our first office visit, the pediatrician gave us a sample of Enfamil D-Vi-Sol, which is a vitamin D supplement for breastfed infants. I was skeptical that a company that makes formula would make a supposedly essential supplement for breastfed babies but the pediatrician endorsed it and we have been giving it to the boys since they were born. I had wondered about whether maternal supplementation could somehow obviate the need for giving the boys a vitamin supplement. I read this article yesterday because I am intrigued by the idea that I can take enough vitamin D that I don't have to give the boys a supplement. It sounds like there is still a possibility that maternal supplementation could lead to toxicity, and it's unclear how much I would have to take to give enough to each of my babies, but I will keep looking into it. For now I have switched to this instead of the Enfamil stuff, because I only have to put a drop on a pacifier or nipple for them to get enough, rather than a huge mouthful of yucky brown syrupy stuff. My mom never gave me any vitamins, either as an infant or a child, and I don't think I ever had any deficiencies. OR, as I told her, imagine how much better a person I would be today had I had vitamins.

If anyone else has additional vaccine or vitamin resources they would like to share or suggest, I would love to hear them!

Winning!

Saturday morning the little ones and I spent a lovely morning walking along the lakefront at Onondaga Lake Park and watching Daddy run the Second Chances 5k. Unfortunately this picture cannot capture the smell (think body odor) of the polluted lake. But look who won his age group!





Monday I took a walk through our neighborhood park like I do almost every day, feeling very lucky to be home with these guys during this gorgeous summer.




Tuesday we had a nice unexpected visit from Grandma and Grandpa Leibowitz. We all had fun watching Theo and Beckett try out the Bumbo seat. Beck wanted nothing to do with it but Theo holds his head up well and seemed to enjoy it.


Tonight we enjoyed a nice dinner together while Beck smiled away at us and Theo took a ride in the swing. It's starting to be more reliable that we can have a dinner together at the dining room table without too much interference from the babies, since they have been napping around dinnertime lately. The rest of the day is a crapshoot but generally they take a nap for an hour or so around 6 or 7, which allows us to prepare a meal and eat in relative peace, and then they are up again for an hour or two before they go to sleep somewhere between 8:30 and 10pm. Depending on how deeply they nap in the evening and how late we put them down, sometimes they don't wake up any more than necessary to nurse before going to bed. We know there's no use in trying to wake them up when they sleep through the change to the night diaper (aka "double stuf") and wrapping up in nightclothes.

Tonight I woke Theo up from his nap at 8pm but he was not interested in really waking up, so he nursed and I changed him and then wrapped him up for bedtime. Beck hung out with Daddy after dinner.

Jen's visit!

Jen, one of my very best friends, visited for a very brief three days. We enjoyed lots of great food, a 1.5 hour outing to the DeWitt Wegman's (AKA the holy land), and a trip to the Great New York State Fair. All with Theo and Beckett!




This outfit scored Jen a catcall from one of those "guess your weight" guys at the Fair. You go, Moms Cowgirl!
Check out the book, a gift from our friend Claire. The book is pictures of hot men cleaning, taking care of babies, and doing kind things for the mothers of their children.

Postpartum life

I've been wanting to post for a while about what it's like to go from this


(taken May 17, 2011)

to this

(taken August 27, 2011)

The dreaded beginning of hair loss that I had heard foretold from other moms began in earnest last week. I had forgotten what it was like to lose hair like a normal person, since I have not lost significant hair (in the shower, on the brush, etc.) since the early months of my pregnancy. I had forgotten what it was like to have to clean out the drain after showering or empty the brush. And I had been enjoying having so much hair! But now it looks like my hair is resuming its pre-pregnancy state, and I am losing all the hair I had not lost since becoming pregnant.

About three weeks ago I packed up all my maternity clothes and put them up in the attic. My mother tried her best to get rid of them but I think that's a bigger decision that Jeff and I will have to make at some point in the future. I also brought down all my pre-pregnancy pants and shorts that had been boxed up, and it was like Christmas to go through all those clothes that I used to love! I found my linen pants and some great jeans that I have been wearing ever since. The only maternity pants I did not box up are the Old Navy maternity workout capris I have had for several years. To be fair, I bought them thinking they were regular workout capris with a great foldover top. Turns out they were not meant to fold over but rather to stretch over a big pregnant belly. I figure, since I bought them and wore them before I was pregnant, I can keep them in my wardrobe now.

One weird thing about the c-section that I hadn't anticipated or been warned about was the numbness around the incision site. The incision itself is numb and a little tender, which I guess I expected, though I did not expect it to last this long. But along my bikini line on the right side of my leg I have a lot of numbness over a large area. It's weird to me that around the incision there is a lot of numbness as well. I notice it more than I would have before I had babies because when they are on my lap sometimes they kick at my gut or their bellies rub against mine while they are nursing and it feels strange. I don't think that I had another option besides the c-section and I am so grateful the babies are here and healthy and that their birth was as non-traumatic as possible but my body is most definitely scarred for life as a result. Not to mention....

The blood blister from hell is (mostly) gone. If you recall, I developed a blood blister on my shoulder blade while I was hospitalized in New York on February 28-March 1. There was no reason for me to have gotten it in the hospital, but I did. It got bigger and bigger and bled a lot over the next seven or eight weeks and my dermatologist cut it out and stitched up the artery when I was about 33 weeks pregnant. It took about two weeks, but it came back with a vengeance. About two weeks after I had Theo and Beck the dermatologist went in again and carved out a big chunk of my back and promised that this time, it was gone for good. It is true that the blister has not returned, but he did a pretty crap job of the stitching and it scarred pretty badly. It also bleeds now and again and I still have dermatitis (itchiness) around the scar from the months of having bandages on it. So there's another scar I will have for life to remind me of this pregnancy.

Now, just because I can fit into my pre-pregnancy pants, do not go thinking that I have regained my pre-pregnancy shape. I may even have lost all my baby weight (even with these gigantic milk sacks I have on my chest) but do not confuse that with looking like my pre-pregnancy self. My belly is one giant squishy stretch-marked mass. I don't know where I lost that weight from, because it doesn't seem like any part of my body looks like it used to, but I think that's because I lost so much muscle tone when I was on bedrest and am just regaining it. I do enough standing up from a seated position while carrying a baby, and pushing our giant stroller up hills in our neighborhood, that I am beginning to get back in shape, but I think it will take a while if I ever get back to where I was. The truth is, I don't care even a single bit. I just want my clothes to fit because I hate shopping and am cheap and don't want to have to buy a new wardrobe. These guys are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and the fact that my body will never be the same just underlines that my life will never be the same. And for that, I am thrilled!

Just as we move them to separate cribs...

Thanks to friend Faye (a twin) for passing on this picture and accompanying articles.

Of course, we never saw rescuing hugs, only flailing arms and legs, heads repeatedly banged up against the rails of the crib, and crying. Are girls different than boys? I have to wonder if after the littler twin in the story got bigger and healthier if the other one didn't take the gloves off and really rip into her.... But maybe it is boys v. girls. The couple with the twins down the street said that their fraternal twin boys started beating the hell out of each other at 6 months, but the sister of our friend Robert had her twin girls together until they were 8 months old, where they slept with their legs intertwined.

The durn mail

I just want to say, for what it's worth and to the three people who ever read this blog, that I am really sorry about the fact that I didn't realize that some of the thank you cards I sent required extra postage and so a few of them came back to me but because my handwriting is so illegible and my return address was unreadable, my guess is that many more did not get delivered and couldn't even get sent back because the post office couldn't read where they came from. Unfortunately I didn't note which cards I sent to which people (for obvious reasons) so I don't know which thank you cards got to their intended recipients and which did not. I also ran out of baby announcements because I ordered too few (who knew we would send out 125?) so some random people did not get baby announcements because I did not count intended recipients before sending. Now we have a stamp with our address on it that we can put on the back of envelopes when we send them out, AND I know the square cards require $0.61 in postage, but that doesn't help those people who are wondering if I ever got their packages! Thank you!

Three months!

Sunday the boys turned three months old! They can do lots of amazing stuff, like... well, they can smile and giggle. We think that's pretty great.

Grandma Joanie and I had a great swim Saturday but was it the last of the summer? The pool in the park is empty and there is a definite chill in the air. But we can still take great walks in the neighborhood and here's to hoping we still have a few more weeks of good weather before fall hits.

We had a great dinner out on the porch Friday night in continued celebration of my birthday. The food was all fantastic and the babies were friendly and well-mannered, for the most part. Here are friends Stacey and Joe, who are expecting their first baby, a little girl, in November.


Saturday we spent a great day at the lake with Grandma Joanie and Grandpa Stu (or Grandpa Joanie and Grandpa Stu, if you are in the know).

What's up, Grandpa Stu?


Sunday the Parkes family visited and I got to see Baby Whisperer 1.0 (Pete) and Baby Whisperer 2.0 (Benji, AKA Goof) work their magic on the babies. I wish that Benji lived closer because these guys could not get enough of him!

Theo and Beckett chillin on the couch at the lake.

Karen with Theo.

Pete with Beckett.

Benji with Beckett.
Mornings are pretty much always great times with the boys. They are in a good mood, smiling and laughing, and it's usually the best time to talk to them both and for them to interact with each other.



Check out these two heartbreakers!So after more than a week of sleeping 6+ hours at a time, simultaneously, including some bouts of 8+ hours of sleep, the boys have switched it up and I am exhausted. They were reliably sleeping from 10-6, with Theo sometimes waking up once but Beck often sleeping straight through. Now, 6am is early, but when I've gotten six or more consecutive hours of sleep I can't complain about waking at 6. The last few nights they've been going to sleep at 8pm and then each waking up at least once during the night. Last night they both ate around 10 after being asleep since 8 or before, and then Theo woke up at 2am to eat, Beckett at 3am. Then Theo was up again at 6:30 to eat again before going back to sleep while Beckett ate. The night before was worse--Beckett was up and ready for the day at 5am. We had him in our bed for a short time before I put him in the swing and he fell back to sleep. I'm not really sure if we should be doing something different or what we in fact did differently (if anything) to change up their routine. I don't mind the 8pm sleep time, because it means we can have a quiet grownup dinner, and they seem a lot less cranky in the evening when they just sleep earlier. But multiple wakeups are exhausting!

Happy Face\Sad Face

Happy face: Thanks for a great visit Tuesday morning, Mary Helen! Sad Face: I forgot to get a picture of Mary Helen with the babies!

Happy face: I had a great Ithaca visit Wednesday, visiting Bea and Yoram as well as Alex and Joanne. I did take a picture of Joanne and Alex but sad face!-I forgot when I was at the Skekelys. Super sad face: I crashed my car into Alex and Joanne's stone wall as I was leaving, causing mucho damage to my car which I did not discover until Jeff pointed it out to me the next morning. I THINK that the car got the worst of it and that the wall isn't bad. Darn bumper.



Happy face: We now have a new roof on the sunroom addition to the house, which we hope will prevent future water damage and leaking under that very flat roof. Sad face: We have been relieved of $1800.

Happy face: Grandma Joan and Grandpa Stu came to the house yesterday and worked their tails off while we ate and watched Bowl for Treasure (or Bowl for Groceries, if you listen to Jeff tell it) at his office picnic, which was super fun. Hiscock Legal Aid is going to have to amp up the fun at our next summer picnic, because the Center for Community Alternatives BROUGHT IT to their summer picnic, and we can't be embarrassing ourselves like that. Joan and Stu painted the front porch, painted the wall under the stairs where the carpenter replaced the sheetrock, and installed seven curtains and rods. Super happy face: they were still speaking to each other when we got home! Sad face: We barely saw them when they were in Syracuse because of the picnic!

Living room: curtains over the sliding door, tie-up curtains on the bay window.
Dining room.
Ultimate happy face: me with my babies!

Morning Fun Time

Mornings are a good time for Beckett and Theo as they are often in a good mood. Yesterday, we were able to capture a few minutes of Beck on the play mat, and Theo in his chair doing some talking.

Rest of the weekend

Saturday Beckett and I went to the second annual housewarming of my old friend Kath. It was a great party with great food and drink and lots of great company. At the party we spent time with Sarah and her son Tobias as well as one of my oldest friends, Adrienne. Adrienne took this great photo of me and Beck. I'm sorry we couldn't spend more time at the party and more time with Kath, Sarah and Adrienne. When you have a babysitter lined up, you gotta go!

Sunday we attended the wedding reception for my friend Todd and his lovely wife Kristina at the Ellis Hollow Community Center. I wish we'd taken pictures! The food was all local and amazing, and it was wonderful to celebrate with the happy couple and friends Phyllis, Lannie and Annie!

Thanks Grandma Leibowitz!

We would like thank my mother for taking care of Theo & Beckett this past Friday while Bryn was at a conference. She took care of them for about 8 hours straight! Bryn is the only other person to accomplish this so far, but my mother is a pro and seemed to handle them both with ease. She even stuck around Friday night so that I could go to a fundraiser, and Bryn could go to a "ladies night". While she was here, Theo seemed to start talking a lot more (no actual words of course, but he makes noises in response to the noises we make to him). Beckett was his normal, smiling, laid back self for the most part.

Thanks again Mom!

- Jeff

Transition to our own cloth diapers

We have now made the transition to our own cloth diapers. It's been two weeks since the diaper service stopped, and I am much happier now. I hadn't realized that without a stay-dry cover, the boys were unhappy as soon as the prefolds were wet, and we probably changed their diapers 10 or so times a day because they were unhappy and because they often leaked out the sides of the covers if we were not extremely careful about tucking in every tiny corner of the prefolds. We now have 28 diapers, including 4 Kawaii and 24 BumGenius. They are all one-size pocket cloth diapers, which means that Theo and Beck should be using the same diapers from now until they are potty-trained. The pocket has to be stuffed with cotton or hemp inserts which are then separated for washing. We bought the ones with snaps upon the suggestion of Mandy from Jillian's Drawers, who suggested they would last longer, though the aplix (velcro) ones look even easier. They are used pretty much like disposables, because I stuff them in advance as soon as the laundry is done, so you just set the baby down on them while open, and then snap up. The Kawaii diapers are about $10 apiece at Mama Goose but about $7 if I had bought them online. I think they may not last as long because they are not as high quality but they are still really nice. Even if they don't last until potty training I think we'll be okay because I understand babies need fewer diaper changes as they get older, so we won't need as many to get through each day. Each BumGenius is expensive (about $18 new) but if they last until they are potty trained and we can sell them for even $10 each (which I think is conservative), we will have only spent about $500 on diapers that we should be able to sell for about $200, meaning our total diaper cost for twins could be as little as $300. I was originally thinking we'd need more like 40 but with 28 we pretty much always have extra both upstairs and downstairs and the laundry is not too onerous. I end up doing one extra load of diapers every 1-2 days. The laundry does cost money and uses heat and water and is somewhat time consuming, especially the stuffing of the diapers, but (don't tell Jeff) I like doing laundry! There's a nice satisfaction that comes from putting dirty laundry in and getting nice clean laundry out just a short time later. I'm not asking for a washboard for Christmas or anything, but laundry is definitely not my least favorite chore.

This is our downstairs nursery diaper station, with both "single stuf" and "double stuf" diapers.

This is our upstairs nursery diaper station, which includes a repurposed CD storage shelf. When Jeff bought it I bet he never figured it would be used to store cloth diapers!

My opinion after two weeks of near-continuous use of the BumGenius and Kawaii diapers is very positive. We have had very few leaks, and the one or two we have had were caused (in my opinion) by user error--wadded up stuffing, or stuffing peeking out from the top of the back of the diaper. We use the "double stuf" diapers, the ones with two layers of cotton stuffing, for nights, and they have been a big part of the boys sleeping longer, I suspect. We used to change the prefolds every time they got up in the night, which woke them up more and woke US up more. Now we put on the night diapers before they nurse for the last time, at 9 or 9:30pm, and they stay in them until they get up at 6:00 or 7:00 a.m. They have also contained some monster blowouts, and for that I am grateful. The BumGenius are also super-snazzy, in my opinion, in bright and cheerful colors that I really like, especially the blues. The night diapers are pretty giant on the babies but they do the job and last I checked we were not entering them in any nighttime beauty contests, so I have no problem with that.

Sleep! and weekend festivities

Luckily my boys want to sleep longer stretches at night, because I don't have time to read any of those books with competing sleep strategies, nor do I really have the energy to implement them. Saturday night, at my parents' cottage, the boys slept from 10pm until 6am. I woke up at about 5:50 and whispered to Jeff, "Oh my gosh, they have slept for 8 hours!" Without a peep. They were then up and ready to go at 6am but after getting 7.5 hours of sleep in a row and without disruption, I felt like I could take on the world. Does anyone have any math problems they need done? How about packing the car? My brain semi-functions again! They slept a good part of the morning yesterday, too, interspersed with lots of smiles and talking and laughing. Theo especially is a great conversationalist and will talk to you for a while if you talk back and then give him time to respond. Maybe Jeff will post some video of that soon (nudge, nudge, Daddy!).

Last night Theo woke up at 2:30 and couldn't be soothed without eating, so he ate and went back to sleep. Beck woke up at 6:00 after sleeping a good 8.5 hours. He giggled and smiled with me for about a half hour and then fell asleep again. They're both now napping again now, which has given me time to finish unpacking from the weekend, finish up the two loads of laundry we started last night, and write a little.

After enjoying a lovely birthday dinner at Hazelnut Kitchen in Trumansburg. So yummy! Thanks Tricia and Michael for staying with the boys while we enjoyed a grownup meal. Then we all enjoyed cake from Sarah's Patisserie to celebrate!

Birthday festivities

So far my birthday has definitely been the best ever. Last year I didn't even really celebrate because it was just a crap time and I had to do a divorce trial on my birthday and I was really just mourning that I wasn't going to be a mom as soon as I had hoped. I wanted to forget all about turning 30 and just get on with it.

But this year--ah, how much changes in a year!--I am super-excited to celebrate another year and look forward to the next. And I am celebrating 30 and 31 in one birthday festivity time, so I get 1) double the cake, 2) double the presents, 3) double (or possibly quadruple) the parties, and 4) double the babies. Actually, I had zero babies last birthday (hence sadness) and now I have two, and Ms. Ehrich in 7th grade taught me that zero times anything is still zero but whatever.

The birthday festivities kicked off Tuesday when Jeff and I went out to a great dinner at Asti's here, thanks to my friend Helen for babysitting, then continued last night with some beers and cake on the deck on our new deck furniture. Delicious. If you ever want to drain some unusual beers, invite Dave Moore over to your house! This weekend we have lots of fun in store, including Kath's housewarming (2nd anniversary) party and seeing Sarah and Adrienne and Kate and Aaron and Dylan and Ollie in Ithaca, as well as a birthday dinner Saturday night sans babies (thanks Tricia and Michael!) and then a delicious cake from Sarah's Patisserie! Then Sunday we get to celebrate the wedding of Todd and Kristina at the Ellis Hollow Community Center. It is going to be a great weekend. I should be an honorary Bleisenberg, with all this weeks-long birthday celebrating!

Grandpa Stu and I took advantage of a short nap yesterday to assemble crib #2 for the boys so that they stop beating on each other and waking each other up. Seriously, we manhandled that crib and had it up and made within 30 minutes. We're champs. It also helps to have an identical crib sitting in the same room while you are assembling the second. Pictures to follow. And I need to make another mobile for the second crib. My plan is not to assign each boy a crib, but rather to move them back and forth. Because it's easier to move the boys than it is to move the mobiles. The next one is going to have pictures of family for the boys to look at.

And to celebrate my birthday the boys have decided to make a habit of sleeping six or more hours at a time. I think it helped last night that a) it was cool, and b) they were in their own cribs. We think they fell asleep in friends' arms on the deck around 9 or so, and they slept through diaper changes and wardrobe malfunctions at 10 and didn't wake up to eat until 3:30! I'm not even sure Beck would have woken up except that he was soaking wet through to the sheet, and I'm not sure Theo would have woken up except that Beck cried while I was changing him and cleaning him up, and Daddy had to strip the bed and start over. Lesson learned: diapers must be tighter!

At last--vindication!

Our boys are monster chubs. And I couldn't be happier. Go boobies!

All the stats from our 6-8 week visit (actually the 11 week visit, but whatever):
Theo

• 12 pounds, up from 4 pounds, 13 ounces at birth! 34th percentile for weight (up from the 0th percentile when he was four days old);
• height 22 inches, up from 17.5 at birth (but I think they didn't measure him very well): 4th percentile, but still up from 0th when four days old); and
• head circumference 15.5 inches, up from 12.4 inches at birth: 17th percentile, up from 1st percentile at four days.

Beckett

• weight 12 pounds, 10 ounces, up from 5 pounds, 15 ounces at birth. 49th percentile for weight (up from 2nd percentile at 4 days);
• height 23 inches, up from 19 inches at birth: 28th percentile, up from 27th percentile at 4 days; and
• head circumference 15.6 inches, up from 14 at birth: 21st percentile, up from 7th percentile at 4 days.

I asked if Theo's spitting up regularly after meals was a problem, and the pediatrician said that it clearly wasn't, because he was gaining weight like a champ. She suggested that the spit-up is caused by his trying to overeat when there is no more room in his belly. Way to go, Theo!

The boys also got their first major set of vaccinations, after just a Hepatitis B at the hospital when they were born. They got one oral vaccine (for rotovirus) and one shot (a whole bunch of things including Diptheria, Tetanus, Pertussis, and some form of meningitis). Beck handled the shots and oral thing like a trooper, with barely a cry, but Theo seemed much more bothered by both. He nursed for a bit in the doctor's office, which seemed to help. They both slept for a while in the afternoon, which gave Jeff time to assemble our new elliptical machine. Hooray! But then last night Theo was obviously in a lot of pain and his leg was all red and swollen, and Beck was not his usual cheery self, so we loaded them up on Children's Tylenol. Almost instantly they calmed down and Theo even started smiling at us! Hooray for Children's Tylenol and drugging your children. Thanks to Jeff's Aunt Deb who talked us through the medication dosage, which was tricky!

11 weeks!

Holding hands!

Grandma Joanie with Beckett. Look at the very jealous kitty in the background!
Best photo yet of Theo. Thanks Kelly!
Daddy and Theo.
Theo and Mommy.
Theo with Grandpa Stu. Note: Theo's skeptical expression and the trail of spit up down Stu's shirt.
Theo even looks cool while he's sleeping--check out that pose!
Beck with his cousin (once removed) Diane. What a lucky guy!
Beck hanging out with his (second) cousin Alex. Beck is clearly loving every minute of it. He especially liked the simulated driving and Alex's big smiles!


One of Beck's more annoying habits--when you hold him up to your face to have a nice conversation of tongue sticking-out, cooing, and opening mouths wide, he looks everywhere but your face.

Sleep

I have read several twin-specific childrearing books, and then of course the La Leche books, and none presents a realistic, clear approach to sleep training children who are exclusively breastfed. My goals are to have them sleeping 8-10 hours in a row at night, preferably (if I'm having a fairy godmother moment) 10pm-8am. Could be 9pm-7am. After having read the Amazon.com reviews for Twelve Hours by Twelve Weeks (do I have time to read the actual book instead of just the Amazon.com reviews? NO! If I did, I wouldn't need the damn book!), it appears that the strategy is to adapt the children slowly to one feeding per night and then none. After a rough night Sunday (which required several walk-ins to soothe Theo without feeding, though still only one feeding), Monday and Tuesday night went super well. Both Beck and Theo only woke up once between 9:30pm-6:00 am. I awoke Wednesday feeling like a new woman! Each morning they played for a little while after eating at 6am, and then went back to sleep for 40 minutes or so (enough time for me to put in a load of laundry and eat breakfast) before waking up for another hour or two for baths or playing. Then both Tuesday and Wednesday they took long (2-4 hour) naps from late morning to mid-afternoon.

Last night Theo was a beast, waking up a whole bunch of times. I gave up and fed him at 1:30. I think part of the problem is that they are still in the same crib and beat on each other in the night with the leg- and arm-flailing. They do better swaddled (both because they don't move as much toward each other and because their arms and/or legs are contained) but when it's hot I don't want to swaddle them up completely, and if I just swaddle their arms sometimes they work their arms up so the blanket completely covers their faces, which seems like a bad idea.

I would like to hear suggestions about how to get them on my dream schedule. I am not interested in any strategy that requires crying it out, mostly because I don't want to hear my babies crying and do not think it is good for them but also because-remember?!?-we have two babies, and one crying means the other is not sleeping either. Please post ideas and suggestions in the comments! Thank you!

Happy Morning!

We are seeing more and more smiles every day. As you can see from the picture, Beckett was particularly happy this morning.

Breastfeeding Rant

What always has bothered me about the drug education we got in school was the obviously exaggerated "con" list-all the ways in which your life would supposedly undoubtedly be ruined if you were to try drugs on one occasion. We learned this in 5th grade (from Officer Ken Lansing, now Tompkins County Sheriff Ken Lansing) and I, at least, took it to heart and thought if anyone ever used any drug even once, they would probably jump off a building or go crazy or not be able to read again. So then in high school when I found out people I knew smoked pot or drank alcohol underage or ate hallucinogenic mushrooms or whatever and seemed to be functioning JUST FINE, I wondered if the whole lesson was bunk. As soon as I realized part of the message was not true, I kind of disregarded the entire message. They could have just said, smoking pot is really bad for your lungs, but you probably won't end up living on the street with a needle in your arm if you smoke one joint in your life. Did they think we weren't smart enough to understand nuance?

Which brings me to breastfeeding.

The party line: Breastfeeding is free, and portable, and doesn't require running to the store when your stash gets low! If you read the La Leche books (Mothering Multiples, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding) you will think that if you 1) fail to latch within 30 minutes of delivering, 2) introduce a bottle before six weeks, 3) introduce a pacifier EVER, 4) have your kid drink from a bottle, even of YOUR OWN BREASTMILK, or 5) stop nursing before 2 years or, god forbid, 1 year, your kid will be maladjusted and/or your milk will dry up and/or you will fail at breastfeeding and it will be all your fault. Never mind that it is a very privileged few who can exclusively breastfeed never using pumped milk for two or even one full year. Also, according to La Leche, if your breasts hurt in the first days or weeks of nursing, it's because of something you or your baby is doing wrong. Though really, just YOU, because babies innately know how to breastfeed and you are probably just screwing it up.

On the other hand, if you talk to most medical professionals with whom I've come in contact these last few months, exclusive breastfeeding is really an ideal not meant to be achieved. A pediatric nurse we know told us that breastmilk is "no better" than formula. Our pediatrician, in the hospital, told me that milk supply was either something you have or something you don't. She said I should see the woman down the hall who made so much milk, she could probably feed twins. (Implication: YOU, Bryn, just aren't that lucky.) When I take Theo and Beck to the pediatrician, everyone there is just so excited and surprised and taken aback that I am even attempting to breastfeed TWINS exclusively. At my primary care doctor's office last week the nurses were amazed to learn that I was nursing both. Even at the darn hospital, where every other bulletin board is full of handwritten-on-construction-paper messages like "Breast is best!", they basically forced us to take a whole bunch of free formula when we left, "just in case breastfeeding doesn't work out." The lactation consultant there--the LACTATION CONSULTANT!--even persuaded us to feed the boys one one-ounce serving each of formula before my milk came in.

It seems to me that a more honest, realistic approach to feeding your baby would be a lot more useful.

According to me, the pros of breastfeeding are:

• it's more portable--no need to carry formula around or wash AS MANY bottles (though if you pump, you'll be washing at least SOME bottles and all the pumping supplies);
  
• it's cheaper (though while the milk is "free", there are lots of supplies that make breastfeeding a LOT easier--e.g. a good quality pump, nursing bras, nursing pads--that actually cost a lot of money);
• allows special bonding with the baby, though only mom can feed the baby (at least primarily).
• no need to mix and heat up a bottle in the middle of the night while trying to calm a hungry, crying baby.
• formula is truly yucky. The free stuff i have here lists a whole bunch of ingredients i can't pronounce after water and vegetable oil. You just cannot tell me that breastmilk, made out of real food I eat, is not way, way better than formula.
  
• it burns a whole bunch of calories. i gained 60+ pounds during my pregnancy and I have already lost 45, 10 weeks out. Since when am "full" I probably weigh at least 5 pounds more than after the boys have eaten, I probably only have about 10 pounds to lose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight.
• baby poop smells better from breastfed babies? I have no independent information to verify this one but have heard it from books and moms.
  

The cons of breastfeeding are:

• It is stressful to be the sole source of nutrition for your child. I have friends who pump and measure to make sure their babies are getting "enough" because of all the pressure to have them gain weight. I did not do this, but I understand the stress, especially during a growth spurt when it seems like they are not getting enough or else they would stop sucking on a dry breast;
• Provides for a 3-hour radius between mom and baby (or pump) at all times until weaning. i can leave milk for the babies at home, but my breasts will still be full and ready for someone to eat within three hours of feeding them, which then means I have to bring a pump, find a place to do it, and then store it safely until I get home;
  
• No rest for the weary. I had a stomach bug last week and I would have loved to have told Jeff he was on for one of the nights, to do all the feedings so I could sleep and get better. But that's really not possible, because even if I had pumped enough milk beforehand to get him through the night (no small feat with two babies), I would have had to get up to pump in the middle of the night at least twice to relieve my breasts of the milk.
• It hurts like hell at first. I don't care what La Leche says. I used lanolin before I had the babies, and during the first month there were times I cried while they were nursing. For me it wasn't enough to quit, because I really wanted to nurse them, but I fully understand why people do quit. It HURTS. I stuck with it because I knew it would get better, but it wasn't really painless until they were a month old. I think we're in a good spot now, but they also haven't cut their teeth yet!
• I still have to watch what I eat because it goes into them. The latest rumor is that eating peanut butter or peanut products while nursing leads to peanut allergies, so I avoid them. I don't drink enough alcohol for it to matter, but if I did, it would make me angry that I couldn't drink more while nursing!

I guess my point is that it is a big commitment to breastfeed your baby, and there are a lot of legitimate reasons to choose breast or bottle. My friends who have chosen not to breastfeed or to stop breastfeeding early have agonized about it, and maybe that's natural but I'm sorry because it's just not easy either way. I am lucky my boys have been great nursers from the start and that I have never had supply problems, but I do think a lot of that was luck.