(taken May 17, 2011)
to this
(taken August 27, 2011)
The dreaded beginning of hair loss that I had heard foretold from other moms began in earnest last week. I had forgotten what it was like to lose hair like a normal person, since I have not lost significant hair (in the shower, on the brush, etc.) since the early months of my pregnancy. I had forgotten what it was like to have to clean out the drain after showering or empty the brush. And I had been enjoying having so much hair! But now it looks like my hair is resuming its pre-pregnancy state, and I am losing all the hair I had not lost since becoming pregnant.
About three weeks ago I packed up all my maternity clothes and put them up in the attic. My mother tried her best to get rid of them but I think that's a bigger decision that Jeff and I will have to make at some point in the future. I also brought down all my pre-pregnancy pants and shorts that had been boxed up, and it was like Christmas to go through all those clothes that I used to love! I found my linen pants and some great jeans that I have been wearing ever since. The only maternity pants I did not box up are the Old Navy maternity workout capris I have had for several years. To be fair, I bought them thinking they were regular workout capris with a great foldover top. Turns out they were not meant to fold over but rather to stretch over a big pregnant belly. I figure, since I bought them and wore them before I was pregnant, I can keep them in my wardrobe now.
One weird thing about the c-section that I hadn't anticipated or been warned about was the numbness around the incision site. The incision itself is numb and a little tender, which I guess I expected, though I did not expect it to last this long. But along my bikini line on the right side of my leg I have a lot of numbness over a large area. It's weird to me that around the incision there is a lot of numbness as well. I notice it more than I would have before I had babies because when they are on my lap sometimes they kick at my gut or their bellies rub against mine while they are nursing and it feels strange. I don't think that I had another option besides the c-section and I am so grateful the babies are here and healthy and that their birth was as non-traumatic as possible but my body is most definitely scarred for life as a result. Not to mention....
The blood blister from hell is (mostly) gone. If you recall, I developed a blood blister on my shoulder blade while I was hospitalized in New York on February 28-March 1. There was no reason for me to have gotten it in the hospital, but I did. It got bigger and bigger and bled a lot over the next seven or eight weeks and my dermatologist cut it out and stitched up the artery when I was about 33 weeks pregnant. It took about two weeks, but it came back with a vengeance. About two weeks after I had Theo and Beck the dermatologist went in again and carved out a big chunk of my back and promised that this time, it was gone for good. It is true that the blister has not returned, but he did a pretty crap job of the stitching and it scarred pretty badly. It also bleeds now and again and I still have dermatitis (itchiness) around the scar from the months of having bandages on it. So there's another scar I will have for life to remind me of this pregnancy.
Now, just because I can fit into my pre-pregnancy pants, do not go thinking that I have regained my pre-pregnancy shape. I may even have lost all my baby weight (even with these gigantic milk sacks I have on my chest) but do not confuse that with looking like my pre-pregnancy self. My belly is one giant squishy stretch-marked mass. I don't know where I lost that weight from, because it doesn't seem like any part of my body looks like it used to, but I think that's because I lost so much muscle tone when I was on bedrest and am just regaining it. I do enough standing up from a seated position while carrying a baby, and pushing our giant stroller up hills in our neighborhood, that I am beginning to get back in shape, but I think it will take a while if I ever get back to where I was. The truth is, I don't care even a single bit. I just want my clothes to fit because I hate shopping and am cheap and don't want to have to buy a new wardrobe. These guys are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and the fact that my body will never be the same just underlines that my life will never be the same. And for that, I am thrilled!
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