Breastfeeding Rant

What always has bothered me about the drug education we got in school was the obviously exaggerated "con" list-all the ways in which your life would supposedly undoubtedly be ruined if you were to try drugs on one occasion. We learned this in 5th grade (from Officer Ken Lansing, now Tompkins County Sheriff Ken Lansing) and I, at least, took it to heart and thought if anyone ever used any drug even once, they would probably jump off a building or go crazy or not be able to read again. So then in high school when I found out people I knew smoked pot or drank alcohol underage or ate hallucinogenic mushrooms or whatever and seemed to be functioning JUST FINE, I wondered if the whole lesson was bunk. As soon as I realized part of the message was not true, I kind of disregarded the entire message. They could have just said, smoking pot is really bad for your lungs, but you probably won't end up living on the street with a needle in your arm if you smoke one joint in your life. Did they think we weren't smart enough to understand nuance?

Which brings me to breastfeeding.

The party line: Breastfeeding is free, and portable, and doesn't require running to the store when your stash gets low! If you read the La Leche books (Mothering Multiples, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding) you will think that if you 1) fail to latch within 30 minutes of delivering, 2) introduce a bottle before six weeks, 3) introduce a pacifier EVER, 4) have your kid drink from a bottle, even of YOUR OWN BREASTMILK, or 5) stop nursing before 2 years or, god forbid, 1 year, your kid will be maladjusted and/or your milk will dry up and/or you will fail at breastfeeding and it will be all your fault. Never mind that it is a very privileged few who can exclusively breastfeed never using pumped milk for two or even one full year. Also, according to La Leche, if your breasts hurt in the first days or weeks of nursing, it's because of something you or your baby is doing wrong. Though really, just YOU, because babies innately know how to breastfeed and you are probably just screwing it up.

On the other hand, if you talk to most medical professionals with whom I've come in contact these last few months, exclusive breastfeeding is really an ideal not meant to be achieved. A pediatric nurse we know told us that breastmilk is "no better" than formula. Our pediatrician, in the hospital, told me that milk supply was either something you have or something you don't. She said I should see the woman down the hall who made so much milk, she could probably feed twins. (Implication: YOU, Bryn, just aren't that lucky.) When I take Theo and Beck to the pediatrician, everyone there is just so excited and surprised and taken aback that I am even attempting to breastfeed TWINS exclusively. At my primary care doctor's office last week the nurses were amazed to learn that I was nursing both. Even at the darn hospital, where every other bulletin board is full of handwritten-on-construction-paper messages like "Breast is best!", they basically forced us to take a whole bunch of free formula when we left, "just in case breastfeeding doesn't work out." The lactation consultant there--the LACTATION CONSULTANT!--even persuaded us to feed the boys one one-ounce serving each of formula before my milk came in.

It seems to me that a more honest, realistic approach to feeding your baby would be a lot more useful.

According to me, the pros of breastfeeding are:

• it's more portable--no need to carry formula around or wash AS MANY bottles (though if you pump, you'll be washing at least SOME bottles and all the pumping supplies);
  
• it's cheaper (though while the milk is "free", there are lots of supplies that make breastfeeding a LOT easier--e.g. a good quality pump, nursing bras, nursing pads--that actually cost a lot of money);
• allows special bonding with the baby, though only mom can feed the baby (at least primarily).
• no need to mix and heat up a bottle in the middle of the night while trying to calm a hungry, crying baby.
• formula is truly yucky. The free stuff i have here lists a whole bunch of ingredients i can't pronounce after water and vegetable oil. You just cannot tell me that breastmilk, made out of real food I eat, is not way, way better than formula.
  
• it burns a whole bunch of calories. i gained 60+ pounds during my pregnancy and I have already lost 45, 10 weeks out. Since when am "full" I probably weigh at least 5 pounds more than after the boys have eaten, I probably only have about 10 pounds to lose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight.
• baby poop smells better from breastfed babies? I have no independent information to verify this one but have heard it from books and moms.
  

The cons of breastfeeding are:

• It is stressful to be the sole source of nutrition for your child. I have friends who pump and measure to make sure their babies are getting "enough" because of all the pressure to have them gain weight. I did not do this, but I understand the stress, especially during a growth spurt when it seems like they are not getting enough or else they would stop sucking on a dry breast;
• Provides for a 3-hour radius between mom and baby (or pump) at all times until weaning. i can leave milk for the babies at home, but my breasts will still be full and ready for someone to eat within three hours of feeding them, which then means I have to bring a pump, find a place to do it, and then store it safely until I get home;
  
• No rest for the weary. I had a stomach bug last week and I would have loved to have told Jeff he was on for one of the nights, to do all the feedings so I could sleep and get better. But that's really not possible, because even if I had pumped enough milk beforehand to get him through the night (no small feat with two babies), I would have had to get up to pump in the middle of the night at least twice to relieve my breasts of the milk.
• It hurts like hell at first. I don't care what La Leche says. I used lanolin before I had the babies, and during the first month there were times I cried while they were nursing. For me it wasn't enough to quit, because I really wanted to nurse them, but I fully understand why people do quit. It HURTS. I stuck with it because I knew it would get better, but it wasn't really painless until they were a month old. I think we're in a good spot now, but they also haven't cut their teeth yet!
• I still have to watch what I eat because it goes into them. The latest rumor is that eating peanut butter or peanut products while nursing leads to peanut allergies, so I avoid them. I don't drink enough alcohol for it to matter, but if I did, it would make me angry that I couldn't drink more while nursing!

I guess my point is that it is a big commitment to breastfeed your baby, and there are a lot of legitimate reasons to choose breast or bottle. My friends who have chosen not to breastfeed or to stop breastfeeding early have agonized about it, and maybe that's natural but I'm sorry because it's just not easy either way. I am lucky my boys have been great nursers from the start and that I have never had supply problems, but I do think a lot of that was luck.