29 weeks!! and general rant about medicine

Though the other half of Team Lovebo thinks I have been 29 weeks pregnant for days or weeks now, because he uses all kinds of creative counting methods, today I am 29 weeks by the date of my last period (which is, for the record, the counting method EVERYONE ELSE uses). Which is awesome! Jeff counts from, alternately, what his "Pregnant Dad" app says, or backward from the projected due dates given at any random sonogram based on the sizes of the babies, or some other random method that makes him feel more reassured in case the babies are born early. Which is fine, but it doesn't change how far along I ACTUALLY am by any kind of standard that matters. We keep hearing (from pediatricians, OB-GYNs, friends whose babies were born tiny) that we are in the clear now, that if the babies were born today they would in all likelihood be healthy (though they would spend weeks or months in the NICU). Which is a huge relief. Not that we're pushing them out now! I'm happy to stay pregnant for at least another month, maybe two.

The amazing and kind of frightening thing I have learned through this process, both from St. Luke's in NYC and from my doctor and the staff at Crouse hospital here (and from my friend Claire, the ob-gyn), is that the medical establishment does not know anything about suspected pre-term labor--how to stop it, what it is, what causes it, what makes it worse or lead to labor, etc. I already knew that they didn't know anything about birth (why some perfectly healthy fetuses die during labor, why some women die during labor, why labors that appear to be progressing normally then take a bad turn) but I have learned it is the same with pre-term labor. Since those are two kind of major issues in ob-gyn practice, I find it stunning that they don't really know anything about it. On the other hand, they can't exactly do randomized double blind trials where they provide treatment to some women and not to others, or whatever, because obviously we're talking about babies and mothers dying (damn human subjects ethical review boards) but wow. It is pretty obvious that they know nothing about it because different doctors or nurses have told me diametrically opposite things within the span of 5 minutes. One doctor even completely reversed herself within 30 minutes. I just wish medical personnel would say "I DON'T KNOW" instead of saying things that may be completely untrue. I say it all the time as a practicing attorney! There's no way I could ever know everything about every legal issue my clients could have, and I think it's dangerous to make things up just to give an answer and not look like an idiot. I'm not an idiot because I don't know the ins and outs of personal injury law, or contract law, or criminal law--I just don't know it! I will never understand why the toughest thing for a doctor to say is "I don't know."