Reflections

 We're two weeks into school, a month into daycare, and about 45 days to go until Jeff's election. The boys are taking the bus to school every day, staying at afterschool at their school building two days a week (for now) and the other three days, riding the bus home. Afterschool seems a whole lot more like relaxed, kid-centered fun and less like containment than last year's afterschool program at their old school. A new program starts in a few weeks so we'll see how that goes. It goes 4 days a week but then buses home, so we'll wait and see how they like it and whether they have the stamina for that four days a week. From what we can tell, the boys are working very hard at school. They come home exhausted. Homework is an annoyance, but it's not overwhelming yet. They are supposed to do 20 minutes of reading every night, which we do anyway, and a worksheet that takes 2-5 minutes that's something like sorting shapes or sequencing events or something. It ends up making the first 15 minutes after they get home a little chaotic, because they have to come in, take off their shoes, use the bathroom, wash their hands, get out their folders from their bookbags, sit down somewhere where Reed cannot mess with their papers, pencils, or markers, and do their homework (with us reading the instructions). Then we have to initial on four different sheets of paper that we have done what we were supposed to do with them. On the days that we are working, it makes the 5:30-7pm rush even more chaotic. But the biggest difference in them that I can see is that they are tired from working hard, from learning new things and adapting to new expectations, meeting almost all-new people, and from art and music and Spanish, all new classes to them. They need cuddles and hugs and kisses when they get home and through the evening, but they're also worn out of conversation and being "on". They like to play quietly by themselves or run around outside. We are trying to head upstairs to get ready for bed by 7, so we can have a relaxed wind-down period and have time to read (right now it's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory again) as well as watch a 12-15 minute movie before going to sleep.

Theo had a couple of night terrors a few nights ago that reminded us of when he was a little guy, probably around 2, and would wake up screaming and crying and inconsolable. It was very alarming for us as we tried to talk to him, gently at first but more and more panicked as he continued not responding. It sometimes lasted 45 minutes or so of kicking and screaming and crying. He does tend to have more bad dreams, or at least more that wake him up and spur him to come in to our room and ask to cuddle or to get tucked in again, than Beckett. When it happened recently he said his hands, arms and legs hurt, and he wouldn't stop crying and yelling. I finally took him outside, carrying him. He continued to cry and yell until he started saying his feet were cold. Then he quieted down and we looked at the stars and airplanes. It was like a switch was flipped, and he was making eye contact and responding to questions and asking questions. When I returned him to bed, his sheets were soaked with sweat.

Reed seems to be doing well at daycare. I still have a hard time with how many caregivers he has there, compared to Mindy taking care of the big boys for three years, and even Reed's caregiver Rachel for the past year. But he seems happy to get there and see his beloved Liz in the morning, and the photos and stories we get indicate that he's exploring and enjoying all there is to see and do at daycare. He is so attached to his blanket knitted by friend Taf that we bring it to daycare every morning and return it home every night. I recently commissioned some new ones but I'm afraid it may be too late to transfer his attachment to a new blanket, of which I had two made so I could leave one at daycare. Last time we went to the doctor Reed had lost a half pound, which also coincided with his starting walking. He's definitely losing some of his chub but still enjoying "sert" every night after dinner with his brothers, who never had dessert until they were at least three, at least regularly. I'm so enjoying all of his words and his ability to converse. It's frustrating when I can't understand what he's trying to tell me, because so much of the time I can figure out what he wants and is trying to say. They teach some baby sign language at school and recently he was doing what appeared to be a sign, and saying a word I couldn't recognize, until I realized he was just pointing to his own palm and saying "marker" because there was marker on his hand from when he got into the boys' art supplies (which I say as if it happened one time, but in fact happens at least once a day).

I had been trying to start the boys in a gymnastics class this fall but now given how exhausted they are at the end of the school day and how much our weekends consist of Jeff's campaigning and the boys just enjoying some home hang time after a week mostly out of the house, I've decided to put that on hold for now. We may sign them up for ice skating again this fall or winter and maybe if we find we're home a lot of Saturday mornings and would like some structured physical exercise time, we may get them back into gymnastics or something else. But we might just decide to keep it loose and go swimming in the indoor pools, or go to Billy Beez or the indoor water park or the science museum or something every once in a while instead.

At the boys' annual well-child visit this week they were pronounced "great" by their doctor. They have both grown about three inches in the last year and put on three or four pounds. Beckett is in the 40th percentile for height, and Theo is in the 20th. They have great vision and hearing and as always they wowed the nurses with their shot-taking ease. This time we only had to get the flu vaccine, which I was contemplating waiting another month or two to get since they got the flu at the end of the season last year after getting the vaccine early, but Beckett said he wanted to get it today so they got it.

Jeff is off at campaign events most nights now, and this is the first weekend when he's been out most of both days. He comes home tired but very happy to be with the boys, and the boys enjoy their time with him even more now because it's more precious.