Sleep! and weekend festivities

Luckily my boys want to sleep longer stretches at night, because I don't have time to read any of those books with competing sleep strategies, nor do I really have the energy to implement them. Saturday night, at my parents' cottage, the boys slept from 10pm until 6am. I woke up at about 5:50 and whispered to Jeff, "Oh my gosh, they have slept for 8 hours!" Without a peep. They were then up and ready to go at 6am but after getting 7.5 hours of sleep in a row and without disruption, I felt like I could take on the world. Does anyone have any math problems they need done? How about packing the car? My brain semi-functions again! They slept a good part of the morning yesterday, too, interspersed with lots of smiles and talking and laughing. Theo especially is a great conversationalist and will talk to you for a while if you talk back and then give him time to respond. Maybe Jeff will post some video of that soon (nudge, nudge, Daddy!).

Last night Theo woke up at 2:30 and couldn't be soothed without eating, so he ate and went back to sleep. Beck woke up at 6:00 after sleeping a good 8.5 hours. He giggled and smiled with me for about a half hour and then fell asleep again. They're both now napping again now, which has given me time to finish unpacking from the weekend, finish up the two loads of laundry we started last night, and write a little.

After enjoying a lovely birthday dinner at Hazelnut Kitchen in Trumansburg. So yummy! Thanks Tricia and Michael for staying with the boys while we enjoyed a grownup meal. Then we all enjoyed cake from Sarah's Patisserie to celebrate!

Birthday festivities

So far my birthday has definitely been the best ever. Last year I didn't even really celebrate because it was just a crap time and I had to do a divorce trial on my birthday and I was really just mourning that I wasn't going to be a mom as soon as I had hoped. I wanted to forget all about turning 30 and just get on with it.

But this year--ah, how much changes in a year!--I am super-excited to celebrate another year and look forward to the next. And I am celebrating 30 and 31 in one birthday festivity time, so I get 1) double the cake, 2) double the presents, 3) double (or possibly quadruple) the parties, and 4) double the babies. Actually, I had zero babies last birthday (hence sadness) and now I have two, and Ms. Ehrich in 7th grade taught me that zero times anything is still zero but whatever.

The birthday festivities kicked off Tuesday when Jeff and I went out to a great dinner at Asti's here, thanks to my friend Helen for babysitting, then continued last night with some beers and cake on the deck on our new deck furniture. Delicious. If you ever want to drain some unusual beers, invite Dave Moore over to your house! This weekend we have lots of fun in store, including Kath's housewarming (2nd anniversary) party and seeing Sarah and Adrienne and Kate and Aaron and Dylan and Ollie in Ithaca, as well as a birthday dinner Saturday night sans babies (thanks Tricia and Michael!) and then a delicious cake from Sarah's Patisserie! Then Sunday we get to celebrate the wedding of Todd and Kristina at the Ellis Hollow Community Center. It is going to be a great weekend. I should be an honorary Bleisenberg, with all this weeks-long birthday celebrating!

Grandpa Stu and I took advantage of a short nap yesterday to assemble crib #2 for the boys so that they stop beating on each other and waking each other up. Seriously, we manhandled that crib and had it up and made within 30 minutes. We're champs. It also helps to have an identical crib sitting in the same room while you are assembling the second. Pictures to follow. And I need to make another mobile for the second crib. My plan is not to assign each boy a crib, but rather to move them back and forth. Because it's easier to move the boys than it is to move the mobiles. The next one is going to have pictures of family for the boys to look at.

And to celebrate my birthday the boys have decided to make a habit of sleeping six or more hours at a time. I think it helped last night that a) it was cool, and b) they were in their own cribs. We think they fell asleep in friends' arms on the deck around 9 or so, and they slept through diaper changes and wardrobe malfunctions at 10 and didn't wake up to eat until 3:30! I'm not even sure Beck would have woken up except that he was soaking wet through to the sheet, and I'm not sure Theo would have woken up except that Beck cried while I was changing him and cleaning him up, and Daddy had to strip the bed and start over. Lesson learned: diapers must be tighter!

At last--vindication!

Our boys are monster chubs. And I couldn't be happier. Go boobies!

All the stats from our 6-8 week visit (actually the 11 week visit, but whatever):
Theo

• 12 pounds, up from 4 pounds, 13 ounces at birth! 34th percentile for weight (up from the 0th percentile when he was four days old);
• height 22 inches, up from 17.5 at birth (but I think they didn't measure him very well): 4th percentile, but still up from 0th when four days old); and
• head circumference 15.5 inches, up from 12.4 inches at birth: 17th percentile, up from 1st percentile at four days.

Beckett

• weight 12 pounds, 10 ounces, up from 5 pounds, 15 ounces at birth. 49th percentile for weight (up from 2nd percentile at 4 days);
• height 23 inches, up from 19 inches at birth: 28th percentile, up from 27th percentile at 4 days; and
• head circumference 15.6 inches, up from 14 at birth: 21st percentile, up from 7th percentile at 4 days.

I asked if Theo's spitting up regularly after meals was a problem, and the pediatrician said that it clearly wasn't, because he was gaining weight like a champ. She suggested that the spit-up is caused by his trying to overeat when there is no more room in his belly. Way to go, Theo!

The boys also got their first major set of vaccinations, after just a Hepatitis B at the hospital when they were born. They got one oral vaccine (for rotovirus) and one shot (a whole bunch of things including Diptheria, Tetanus, Pertussis, and some form of meningitis). Beck handled the shots and oral thing like a trooper, with barely a cry, but Theo seemed much more bothered by both. He nursed for a bit in the doctor's office, which seemed to help. They both slept for a while in the afternoon, which gave Jeff time to assemble our new elliptical machine. Hooray! But then last night Theo was obviously in a lot of pain and his leg was all red and swollen, and Beck was not his usual cheery self, so we loaded them up on Children's Tylenol. Almost instantly they calmed down and Theo even started smiling at us! Hooray for Children's Tylenol and drugging your children. Thanks to Jeff's Aunt Deb who talked us through the medication dosage, which was tricky!

11 weeks!

Holding hands!

Grandma Joanie with Beckett. Look at the very jealous kitty in the background!
Best photo yet of Theo. Thanks Kelly!
Daddy and Theo.
Theo and Mommy.
Theo with Grandpa Stu. Note: Theo's skeptical expression and the trail of spit up down Stu's shirt.
Theo even looks cool while he's sleeping--check out that pose!
Beck with his cousin (once removed) Diane. What a lucky guy!
Beck hanging out with his (second) cousin Alex. Beck is clearly loving every minute of it. He especially liked the simulated driving and Alex's big smiles!


One of Beck's more annoying habits--when you hold him up to your face to have a nice conversation of tongue sticking-out, cooing, and opening mouths wide, he looks everywhere but your face.

Sleep

I have read several twin-specific childrearing books, and then of course the La Leche books, and none presents a realistic, clear approach to sleep training children who are exclusively breastfed. My goals are to have them sleeping 8-10 hours in a row at night, preferably (if I'm having a fairy godmother moment) 10pm-8am. Could be 9pm-7am. After having read the Amazon.com reviews for Twelve Hours by Twelve Weeks (do I have time to read the actual book instead of just the Amazon.com reviews? NO! If I did, I wouldn't need the damn book!), it appears that the strategy is to adapt the children slowly to one feeding per night and then none. After a rough night Sunday (which required several walk-ins to soothe Theo without feeding, though still only one feeding), Monday and Tuesday night went super well. Both Beck and Theo only woke up once between 9:30pm-6:00 am. I awoke Wednesday feeling like a new woman! Each morning they played for a little while after eating at 6am, and then went back to sleep for 40 minutes or so (enough time for me to put in a load of laundry and eat breakfast) before waking up for another hour or two for baths or playing. Then both Tuesday and Wednesday they took long (2-4 hour) naps from late morning to mid-afternoon.

Last night Theo was a beast, waking up a whole bunch of times. I gave up and fed him at 1:30. I think part of the problem is that they are still in the same crib and beat on each other in the night with the leg- and arm-flailing. They do better swaddled (both because they don't move as much toward each other and because their arms and/or legs are contained) but when it's hot I don't want to swaddle them up completely, and if I just swaddle their arms sometimes they work their arms up so the blanket completely covers their faces, which seems like a bad idea.

I would like to hear suggestions about how to get them on my dream schedule. I am not interested in any strategy that requires crying it out, mostly because I don't want to hear my babies crying and do not think it is good for them but also because-remember?!?-we have two babies, and one crying means the other is not sleeping either. Please post ideas and suggestions in the comments! Thank you!

Happy Morning!

We are seeing more and more smiles every day. As you can see from the picture, Beckett was particularly happy this morning.

Breastfeeding Rant

What always has bothered me about the drug education we got in school was the obviously exaggerated "con" list-all the ways in which your life would supposedly undoubtedly be ruined if you were to try drugs on one occasion. We learned this in 5th grade (from Officer Ken Lansing, now Tompkins County Sheriff Ken Lansing) and I, at least, took it to heart and thought if anyone ever used any drug even once, they would probably jump off a building or go crazy or not be able to read again. So then in high school when I found out people I knew smoked pot or drank alcohol underage or ate hallucinogenic mushrooms or whatever and seemed to be functioning JUST FINE, I wondered if the whole lesson was bunk. As soon as I realized part of the message was not true, I kind of disregarded the entire message. They could have just said, smoking pot is really bad for your lungs, but you probably won't end up living on the street with a needle in your arm if you smoke one joint in your life. Did they think we weren't smart enough to understand nuance?

Which brings me to breastfeeding.

The party line: Breastfeeding is free, and portable, and doesn't require running to the store when your stash gets low! If you read the La Leche books (Mothering Multiples, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding) you will think that if you 1) fail to latch within 30 minutes of delivering, 2) introduce a bottle before six weeks, 3) introduce a pacifier EVER, 4) have your kid drink from a bottle, even of YOUR OWN BREASTMILK, or 5) stop nursing before 2 years or, god forbid, 1 year, your kid will be maladjusted and/or your milk will dry up and/or you will fail at breastfeeding and it will be all your fault. Never mind that it is a very privileged few who can exclusively breastfeed never using pumped milk for two or even one full year. Also, according to La Leche, if your breasts hurt in the first days or weeks of nursing, it's because of something you or your baby is doing wrong. Though really, just YOU, because babies innately know how to breastfeed and you are probably just screwing it up.

On the other hand, if you talk to most medical professionals with whom I've come in contact these last few months, exclusive breastfeeding is really an ideal not meant to be achieved. A pediatric nurse we know told us that breastmilk is "no better" than formula. Our pediatrician, in the hospital, told me that milk supply was either something you have or something you don't. She said I should see the woman down the hall who made so much milk, she could probably feed twins. (Implication: YOU, Bryn, just aren't that lucky.) When I take Theo and Beck to the pediatrician, everyone there is just so excited and surprised and taken aback that I am even attempting to breastfeed TWINS exclusively. At my primary care doctor's office last week the nurses were amazed to learn that I was nursing both. Even at the darn hospital, where every other bulletin board is full of handwritten-on-construction-paper messages like "Breast is best!", they basically forced us to take a whole bunch of free formula when we left, "just in case breastfeeding doesn't work out." The lactation consultant there--the LACTATION CONSULTANT!--even persuaded us to feed the boys one one-ounce serving each of formula before my milk came in.

It seems to me that a more honest, realistic approach to feeding your baby would be a lot more useful.

According to me, the pros of breastfeeding are:

• it's more portable--no need to carry formula around or wash AS MANY bottles (though if you pump, you'll be washing at least SOME bottles and all the pumping supplies);
  
• it's cheaper (though while the milk is "free", there are lots of supplies that make breastfeeding a LOT easier--e.g. a good quality pump, nursing bras, nursing pads--that actually cost a lot of money);
• allows special bonding with the baby, though only mom can feed the baby (at least primarily).
• no need to mix and heat up a bottle in the middle of the night while trying to calm a hungry, crying baby.
• formula is truly yucky. The free stuff i have here lists a whole bunch of ingredients i can't pronounce after water and vegetable oil. You just cannot tell me that breastmilk, made out of real food I eat, is not way, way better than formula.
  
• it burns a whole bunch of calories. i gained 60+ pounds during my pregnancy and I have already lost 45, 10 weeks out. Since when am "full" I probably weigh at least 5 pounds more than after the boys have eaten, I probably only have about 10 pounds to lose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight.
• baby poop smells better from breastfed babies? I have no independent information to verify this one but have heard it from books and moms.
  

The cons of breastfeeding are:

• It is stressful to be the sole source of nutrition for your child. I have friends who pump and measure to make sure their babies are getting "enough" because of all the pressure to have them gain weight. I did not do this, but I understand the stress, especially during a growth spurt when it seems like they are not getting enough or else they would stop sucking on a dry breast;
• Provides for a 3-hour radius between mom and baby (or pump) at all times until weaning. i can leave milk for the babies at home, but my breasts will still be full and ready for someone to eat within three hours of feeding them, which then means I have to bring a pump, find a place to do it, and then store it safely until I get home;
  
• No rest for the weary. I had a stomach bug last week and I would have loved to have told Jeff he was on for one of the nights, to do all the feedings so I could sleep and get better. But that's really not possible, because even if I had pumped enough milk beforehand to get him through the night (no small feat with two babies), I would have had to get up to pump in the middle of the night at least twice to relieve my breasts of the milk.
• It hurts like hell at first. I don't care what La Leche says. I used lanolin before I had the babies, and during the first month there were times I cried while they were nursing. For me it wasn't enough to quit, because I really wanted to nurse them, but I fully understand why people do quit. It HURTS. I stuck with it because I knew it would get better, but it wasn't really painless until they were a month old. I think we're in a good spot now, but they also haven't cut their teeth yet!
• I still have to watch what I eat because it goes into them. The latest rumor is that eating peanut butter or peanut products while nursing leads to peanut allergies, so I avoid them. I don't drink enough alcohol for it to matter, but if I did, it would make me angry that I couldn't drink more while nursing!

I guess my point is that it is a big commitment to breastfeed your baby, and there are a lot of legitimate reasons to choose breast or bottle. My friends who have chosen not to breastfeed or to stop breastfeeding early have agonized about it, and maybe that's natural but I'm sorry because it's just not easy either way. I am lucky my boys have been great nursers from the start and that I have never had supply problems, but I do think a lot of that was luck.