Birth Story

So here is the story of how our babies were born:

Overnight on Friday, May 20-Saturday, May 21 I spoke to my doctor twice. I was absolutely crazed with the itchiness of the cholostasis and was completely miserable and exhausted. My doctor told me that there was no reason to deliver the babies early based only on the cholostasis, but that if I wanted to be reassured about the babies' condition, I could come in to the hospital on Saturday, May 21 while she was there on-call to undergo a non-stress test (fetal monitoring) to make sure the babies were still doing fine. Saturday was my dad's birthday and my parents were up for the day to celebrate with us, so Jeff and I left for the hospital around 3:30pm expecting to be back in a short while to enjoy some Dinosaur BBQ take out and cake.

When we got to the hospital all was calm and the babies looked great on the NST, but my blood pressure was borderline high, my platelet count was low, and so my doctor determined that I had preeclampsia (pregnancy-related high blood pressure). Because I now had three potential risk factors (disparate fetal weights, preeclampsia, and cholostasis), my doctor suggested an accelerated delivery. Because Baby A had flipped around and was now head-down, we had two options: an induction of labor or a cesarean birth. Induction of labor might have taken several days and because of my low platelet count, might have had to be done without the possibility of an epidural. I was already exhausted from three days of little to no sleep because of the cholostasis, and Jeff and I were concerned that two to three days of induction and no pain medication might have been too much for me. We chose to have a cesarean delivery, and my doctor said that it would be scheduled for the following day, Sunday, May 22. At about 7pm, Jeff and my dad left the hospital to pick up the Dinosaur BBQ takeout and bring it back to me and my mom.

While they were gone, my doctor came back in to my room and said that she had already assembled the entire team for the cesarean birth and that they would be ready to go around 8:30pm. Jeff and my dad got back around 8:00 and I broke the news that we would be having the babies that night. We both felt unprepared and as though we needed more time to get ready to be parents, but wouldn't we have no matter when it happened? It gave me less time to itch my feet and hands, and worry about the anesthesia and recovery and all of that. No anticipation, just moving right ahead!

At about 8:30 they began the prep for the cesarean. the anesthesiologist, Dr. Ren, was great and explained things just enough to make me feel prepared without grossing me out. Jeff was able to be with me for most it but was not allowed to be with me when I got the epidural, so my wonderful doctor, Dr. Berry, stayed with me in the OR as it was administered. I thanked everyone in the OR for spending their Saturday night with me and for helping get my babies born. I remember trying to take in the entire room, to remember where my babies were going to be born. I felt totally ecstatic and at peace, knowing that finally, after so many months of anticipation and worry, we were going to get to meet our babies. For all my worries, the surgery was totally uneventful. I detested the feeling of my body becoming tingly and kind-of numb but was grateful it worked! The strangest thing was hearing people say things like "incision" and realizing they were talking about what they were doing to my body, without me having any sensation of it! Dr. Ren narrated a lot of the surgery and made me feel very comfortable and safe. Jeff was with me for the entire surgery and cried right along with me as we realized we were finally going to meet our babies very soon.

Then the most amazing thing happened: Dr. Ren announced that they were pulling Baby A out of my belly, and I heard the most beautiful sound--our little 4 lb, 13 oz baby crying! The little guy was crying! Soon they had handed him to Jeff and I realized, this baby is totally healthy. Good Apgar scores, no NICU, just a healthy but little baby! Jeff held him up to me and I couldn't get enough of his gorgeous little face. We quickly agreed that this would be baby Theo. Then Dr. Ren announced that Baby B was about to be lifted out of my belly. And then I heard him cry, almost like a little duckling. Soon he was being handed to Jeff, and I realized that both babies were perfectly healthy, with beautiful little lungs. This became baby Beckett. I got to stare at him for another few minutes and didn't want to give him up either, but they were ready to finish up the surgery and Jeff left with the babies to the recovery room to wait for me. When I got there the babies were happily in his arms and he was smiling from ear to ear. I took each one and finally just gazed and gazed into their gorgeous little faces. Within about 20 minutes of me getting to the recovery room they were tandem nursing. I felt as though it would not be possible to be happier than I was at that moment: with the babies, with Jeff, with the relief of knowing they were healthy and that everything had gone as well as it could have. My parents, who had been waiting patiently during the surgery, soon joined us and got to meet their grandchildren. My mom and Jeff also got to examine the babies' placenta, which they found to be quite impressive. I finally saw the picture today and whoa, it is pretty impressive. Apparently the two placentas merge at some point late in the pregnancy and it becomes a 10-pound whopper of an organ. And it did its job, because all together I grew more than ten pounds of baby in my belly! We had about two hours in the recovery room before we all got moved to my postpartum room, where I would spend the next four days.

The rest of the hospital stay went as well as it could have, but hospitals are just not the best places for promoting rest and recovery. When you have to be there, you have to be there; but having people in and out of your room every hour or two around the clock just does not help with getting enough sleep to recover from surgery and begin your life as a parent. We were extremely lucky that we were placed in a double room where Jeff could stay over every night in a hospital bed, so it was private from other patients but we had our own good space and bathroom and room for the babies. The nurses were really wonderful and I felt like my pain was managed as well as it could have. The recovery from my cesarean birth has been difficult, but I still find it amazing that you can have major abdominal surgery and be walking around 8 hours later. I'm grateful that it continues to go well and that I feel better every day. Truly, I felt better the first day after the cesarean than I had for most of the last few weeks of pregnancy, so I was grateful for that from the beginning. We were also lucky to have a private newborn care class, because when Jeff went to the class on Tuesday morning he was the only one there, so the instructor just came to our room and gave us the class privately! I also had fantastic lactation support there, from both Carol and Cindy, which made me feel great about the nutrition I was giving the babies. Cindy also helped me learn how to use a breast pump Wednesday morning when my milk hadn't yet come in and the babies were hungry, which was awesome because now I have been pumping regularly and have enough that someone else can feed the babies sometimes when I am sleeping or have to be away from them. What freedom!

I got my first criticism as a mother from a complete stranger before we were even out of the hospital on Wednesday. I was in the elevator with a transport person and a nurse, carrying out the babies in their carseats while Jeff went out to get the car. It was 3:00 pm, sunny, and warm--about 80 degrees outside, much hotter in our car. The babies were dressed in long-sleeved sleep sacks but no blankets or hats. A nurse who was getting off her shift said to me, in a judgy tone, "Wow, you're taking the babies out dressed like that? Why don't you have any blankets on them?" I kind of laughed and said that when we came to the hospital we hadn't expected to have the babies come home with us, and that we didn't have blankets for them (the truth was I had packed blankets but they were in the bag Jeff had already carried out and it was hot and sunny out so I didn't think they needed them). A nice lady in the elevator stood up for me and said that it was pretty hot outside and she didn't think they needed any blankets. In the car Jeff and I came up with various rejoinders I could have used, like, "Do you know how hot it is outside? Only a total idiot would put a baby in a blanket or a hat in this weather!" or a more simple, "F-U". Future judgers of our parenting ability, look out--we have been primed to be feisty.

As I'm typing this post Jeff is asleep on the couch with a previously hiccupy Theo on his chest, sleeping happily. Beck is sleeping in the pack and play about five feet away from us. This will be our first night home without any nighttime support, so I think we need to go to sleep now in order to start the night off right. I will write more later!